


Children of the Underworld

by thegreatwhitewolf



Category: Kingdom Hearts
Genre: Alternate Universe, Explicit Language, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, M/M, Past Rape/Non-con, Sexual Content, Underage Drinking, attempted suicide
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-14
Updated: 2017-01-06
Packaged: 2018-07-15 02:24:32
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 8
Words: 26,481
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7202504
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thegreatwhitewolf/pseuds/thegreatwhitewolf
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Demyx Strife and his brothers get the chance to go behind the scenes of a famous traveling circus when it comes to town and find that behind all the glitz and glamour lurks a dark world of sex, drugs, and alcohol.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The First Day

**Author's Note:**

> My muses would not leave me alone until I wrote this. This was the result of me watching Dumbo, mostly, though Moulin Rouge! and Cirque du Soleil also played parts.

The First Day

“Why are we doing this again?”

Demyx turned in his seat as far as his seatbelt would let him and sighed. Roxas, sandwiched between his twin Ven and their younger brother Sora was scowling, as usual. He was determined to not let Roxas’s poor attitude ruin it for him though.

“We’re going to the Disney Circus because it’s in town once every ten years and Mom and Dad got free tickets,” he explained patiently. “We’re going to see the show and then afterwards meet the owner and go on a tour backstage.”

“The circus is for babies,” Roxas muttered sourly.

“Not this one, trust me,” Demyx said. “This is like the cream of the crop when it comes to circuses.”

Roxas raised a pierced eyebrow. “And how do you know this?”

“Oh um…I did some research,” Demyx said hastily.

He ducked his head so Roxas couldn’t see his blush, though he suspected Roxas already knew how much research he had done. He couldn’t help it, though. When he found out that they would be going to the Disney Circus, he had wanted to know everything he could about it because he had been so young the first time he had been and he could barely remember anything about the circus itself. It was pretty damn impressive, he had to say.

The Disney Circus was a traveling circus that had grown out of an idea by two men, Genesis and Angeal, who had been the original co-owners of the circus. After their untimely deaths, it had been continued by their mutual friend Sephiroth who had expanded it into the critically acclaimed show it was today. There were no animals, only human performers who were the best of the best.

“He’s right!” Sora chirped from where he was squashed next to the window. “There was an article in the paper yesterday. Disney Circus is supposed to be amazing. It’s really popular, which is why it only comes to town once every ten years, because it goes to so many different cities. And we got tickets for opening night! How cool is that?”

“Yeah, whatever,” Roxas muttered, crossing his arms, and nearly hitting Ven in the face with his elbow.

“Aw come on Roxas,” Sora protested. “Stop being such a sourpuss.”

“He can’t help it. That’s just how Roxas is.” Ven affectionately ruffled Roxas’s spiky blonde hair, earning him a scowl in return.

They turned into a large parking lot that had been converted into space for the circus and Demyx’s breath caught in his throat at the sight of the enormous tent and the sea of smaller tents beyond it. Roxas, Ven, and Sora were too young to remember anything the last time the Disney Circus came to town, but Demy could remember it vividly. They still lived in Midgar then and Demyx remembered because it was the night of the big mako reactor explosion. He remembered the fear and panic of the crowd as they left the circus, his father Cloud shouting at him to take the twins’ hands so they wouldn’t get separated, and the nightmare of being forced to evacuate the city, leaving everything behind. He still had nightmares about that night.

“Demyx!”

Demyx blinked as someone jabbed him sharply in the gut and saw Ven waving his hand in front of his face, Roxas being the one who jabbed him in the stomach.

“Wha?” he said stupidly.

Roxas rolled his eyes. “We’re here. Now move.”

“Right,” Demyx said.

He got out first, then moved his seat up as far as he could so his brothers could get out.

“Why did Sora get to bring a friend and we couldn’t?” Roxas muttered sourly, nodding to Sora’s boyfriend, who was helping Sora out.

“Riku is the owner’s nephew so he got a free ticket too,” Demyx said, extending his hand to Ven.

“Whatever,” Roxas muttered.

“Are you boys ready to go?” their mother Aerith asked, walking over to them. She received a chorus of “yeses” and a “no” from Roxas. “Good.” She smiled.

Cloud silently locked the van and they walked toward the largest tent. The interior of the tent was finely decorated with sculptures and other expensive-looking artwork. A large crowd waited in front of a pair of red velvet curtains that presumably led to the show’s entrance, held back by a pair of women in red velvet uniforms and large gold buttons. Aerith directed the family to the left where they joined the end of the line for the concession stand.

“You can have whatever you want tonight, boys,” she said as they stood in line. “Just don’t overdo it, okay?”

Each of them got a small soda and Sora got candy, Ven popcorn, and Demyx a pretzel.

“Are you sure you don’t want anything, Riku?” Aerith asked the silver-haired boy as she dug in her purse for money. “It’s my treat.”

Riku shook his head politely. “No thanks, Mrs. Strife. I’m fine. Really.”

“All right.” Aerith turned to Roxas. “Are you sure you only want a soda, sweetie?”

“Yeah,” Roxas said.

Aerith frowned but paid the cashier and they joined the crowd outside the theater. They chattered happily with the exception of Roxas who sulked and Cloud who just stood there until the women finally pulled the curtains back and allowed them to enter, checking their tickets as they went.

The interior was dark and cool with rows and rows of surprisingly comfortable-looking chairs. The ground sloped downward as they made their way to their seats in the very center of the first row.

“Wow, these are some good seats,” Sora commented as they settled in.

“You should make sure to thank Sephiroth for the lovely seats when we meet him later,” Aerith said.

“Yes, Mom,” Sora said obediently.

Roxas hissed something that sounded like, “tool!” which earned him a jab in the ribs from Ven. No more was said as the theater slowly filled up with people. Finally, the lights dimmed signaling the start of the show. A man with rosy pink hair that absolutely could not be natural stepped out from behind the curtains.

“Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the Disney Circus!” he said loudly, his magnified voice echoing throughout the theater. “Please note that the use of smoke effects will be used throughout the performance. They pose no threat to your health. You, however, are not permitted to smoke. The use of video of cameras and photography, especially flash photography is forbidden because of the danger they pose to the performers. We also ask that you turn off all cell phones, pagers, and any other assorted electronic devices. And now, sit back, relax, and enjoy the show!”

He disappeared behind the curtains. A gentle piano piece began playing. A young sandy-haired boy around the same age as Ven and Roxas ran onto the stage, dressed in a pair of jeans and a T-shirt. The pink-haired man appeared from behind the curtains and the young boy ran into him. He reared back, frightened. The pink-haired man put a reassuring hand on his shoulder. Without any warning, the young boy was lifted into the air, causing several audience members to gasp. He soared around high above the audience’s head as the music swelled. Then, he was pulled behind the curtains and vanished. As the music built up again, the curtains parted, revealing the rest of the stage at last, though it was too dark to see much. They young boy laid sprawled out on the stage and the song ended.

A new song started, louder than the first. The young boy seemed to jerk awake and Demyx jumped in his seat at the suddenness of the new song’s opening notes. The lights suddenly sprang up to full brightness, revealing a wondrous, fantasy-esque setting. As the song continued, people filed out dressed in elaborate costumes, the likes of which Demyx had never seen before. He quickly became immersed in the show, transfixed by all the beautiful costumes and the interesting-sounding music. The story, as far as he could tell, was of the young boy who was transported to a magical world filled with creatures of all shapes and sizes that seemed to come straight out of a child’s imagination.  
The young boy journeyed through the strange new world and met a myriad of characters, jugglers, acrobats, dancers, clowns, and many others, and found love with a beautiful princess. Demyx’s personal favorite act was the trapeze act by a trio of silver-haired boys a few years older than him who flew through the air effortlessly, throwing themselves seemingly into space, but always catching one another without fail. The music was fun too, generally upbeat, but a few of the songs were slower and sadder.

Then the tone changed completely.

The bright lights dimmed and the music became tribal and almost primitive in nature. A man in his late twenties stepped out carrying a baton, dressed only in a pair of light-colored pants, his well-sculpted chest gleaming in the light. He had flaming red hair pulled back into a barely-contained ponytail and a pair of purple teardrop tattoos beneath each vivid green eye. The entire crowd, Demyx included, gasped when he lit one end of his baton on fire. Roxas, however, was not as impressed as everyone else.

“Twenty bucks says he sets himself on fire,” he whispered, crossing his arms.

“Roxas!” Sora protested, covering his mouth to suppress a giggle.

“No way,” Ven argued. “They’re all pretty well-trained. He won’t set himself on fire.”

“Look at that hair,” Roxas pointed out. “He’s totally gonna set himself on fire.”

“I still say he won’t,” Ven said stubbornly.

“Would you care to wager on that?” Roxas arched his eyebrows.

“Mind your manners,” Demyx scolded under his breath, never tearing away from the man spinning his flaming baton.

“You’re on,” Ven said, pursing his lips.

They shook on it, leaning over a still-giggling Sora to seal the deal. Riku merely rolled his eyes good-naturedly while Demyx turned his attention back to the fire act.

The man spun the flaming baton around with expert precision, in perfect time with the music. With a catlike grin, he lit the other end of the baton and continued spinning it around. Then, he acquired a second one, and juggled the two of them, never missing a beat, never tripping up as the music reached its climax. Then, he held the flaming batons in the air triumphantly as the music ended to thunderous applause. Demyx could see he was covered in sweat, his chest heaving. The man made a show of blowing out the ends of the batons and gave the crowd a jaunty wave before trotting off the stage.

“Okay, that was impressive,” Roxas admitted grudgingly, leaning over Sora again to give his twin a $20 bill.

A new, gentler song began to play. Demyx turned back to the stage and his breath caught in his throat as he caught sight of the dancer. He was young, around Demyx’s age, if not a year or two older, though he was remarkably small. Charcoal grey hair cut across his face in sharp bangs that obscured it from view. One grey blue eye peered out from the curtain, thickly lined with black that really brought out the blue of his eye. The rest of his makeup was light, emphasizing the sharp contours of his cheekbones, small nose, and thin, delicate lips. His was beautiful, but there was something haunting about his beauty. His costume was silver with a spider webbing design in blue and like the other costumes, clung tightly to his small frame.

His dance was as beautiful and haunting as he was. It was filled with loss, regret, and betrayal. He moved gracefully in time to the music, and was surprisingly flexible for such a small boy. He was joined by a man who was twice his size. Their size difference didn’t look comical, as Demyx expected, but actually worked. The smaller boy leapt through the air and was easily caught by his partner and lifted up, then set down with surprising gentleness. As the song ended, the boy’s single blue grey eye locked onto Demyx’s sea green ones and Demyx felt an intense, powerful connection to him.

And an even more powerful attraction.

The boy and his partner took a bow and vanished and the show went on, though Demyx barely paid attention. He couldn’t stop thinking about that boy. He got another glimpse of him at the very end of the show when all the performers took to the stage for their curtain call. He stood next to his partner, their height disparity even more apparent when they stood side-by-side and took their final bows. Demyx couldn’t stop staring at him. Ven followed Demyx’s gaze and grinned when he saw what, or rather, who, Demyx was staring at.

“Someone’s in love!” he teased.

Demyx blushed. “I am not!”

“Yeah, sure.” Ven gave him a look that indicated he didn’t believe him.

They remained in their seats until the theater was empty aside from them and the cleaning crew. The curtains parted slightly and the pink-haired man stepped out, still in full costume and makeup. He saw the Strifes and his face broke out into an enormous smile.

“Oh my gosh, you must be the Strifes!” he said in an excited tone as he came down the steps to greet them. “It’s so nice to meet you! I’m Marluxia. Sephiroth asked me to meet you and bring you to his office.”

“Wow, and I thought the fire guy was flaming,” Roxas muttered, earning him a jab in the ribs from Ven again.

“It’s nice to meet you,” Aerith said, smiling warmly. “I’m Aerith Strife, this is my husband, Cloud, and our sons Demyx, Roxas, Ven, and Sora.”

“It’s nice to meet all of you,” Marluxia said. “Well, shall we? Oh, make sure you stick close to me backstage, okay? It gets pretty chaotic after the show.”

They went up the stairs onto the stage. Up close, Demy could see how worn the boards were. The red velvet curtains looked threadbare as they passed through them. The stage was brightly lit now and full of people hurrying to and fro, some of them dressed in elaborate costumes and full makeup. Marluxia strode confidently through the very center of the mess, leaving the Strifes to hurry after him or be swallowed by the chaos.

They went through the backstage area and exited the tent. The fresh summer air was a relief after being in the cramped, chaotic mess of the tent. Marluxia led them into a nearby tent and they found themselves in a makeshift office. It was sparsely furnished with a couple filing cabinets on either side of a large wooden desk. A small desktop computer sat on the desk that was plugged into a strip cord in the corner along with a telephone. Sitting behind the desk was a tall, thin man with long silver hair like Riku’s and green eyes with gold flecks in them. Demyx wasn’t sure what it was about him, but he found the man absolutely unnerving.

“Good to see you again, Cloud. It’s been far too long,” he said in a surprisingly baritone voice that made Demyx even more uncomfortable. “And Aerith. It’s a pleasure to see you again as well.”

“Hello Sephiroth,” Aerith said and her smile seemed a bit forced. “I don’t know if you remember our boys. This is Demyx, Roxas and his twin Ven, and Sora, our youngest.”

“Goodness they’ve grown,” Sephiroth said softly. “They were all very small the last time I saw them. They grow up fast, don’t they?”

“Yes,” Aerith agreed. “And how are your boys?”

“All grown up,” Sephiroth said with a smile.

“How old are they again?” Aerith asked.

“My youngest, Kadaj just turned nineteen. Yazoo is twenty-two and my oldest, Loz is twenty-four. Now…” Sephiroth turned to Marluxia, who hovered uncertainly near the tent’s entrance. “Why don’t you take the boys on a tour while their parents and I finish catching up?”

Marluxia visibly brightened at this. “I’d love to! Come along, boys. Let’s go!”

They gladly followed the pink-haired man out of the stifling tent. It was much quieter compared to backstage. When Demyx pointed this out, Marluxia chuckled softly.

“Surprising, isn’t it?” he said. “You’d think it’d be chaotic here too, but honestly, all the action is backstage right now. It’ll get busy later, right before the show, trust me.  
“We have three shows here, one at four, one at seven, which is the one that just ended, and one at ten. Each show runs or an hour and a half and the performers get a half hour break. We also have mornings off. We don’t have to show up until the full dress rehearsal at two, just before the first show, though many people come earlier to practice, and of course they have to get dressed and put their makeup on.

“We’re going to be in Twilight Town for two weeks before we move onto the next place. We tour from April until about October, depending on how well the weather holds up. We have a four-month vacation, I guess you can call it, though I’m not sure how much of a vacation it really is. Then in Mach we have rehearsals again before we start touring. It’s kind of brutal at times, but there’s really nothing like it. A lot of the performers have families who tour with them and after a while, everyone becomes like family too.”

They walked toward the sea of tents. In the dying sun, Demyx could see that the tents were worn out and dirty, smeared with smoke and grime and it reminded him of Midgar, which was a dirty, worn out city that seemed to be in its death throes even before the mako reactor explosion. The thought caused goosebumps to raise on his arms and he forced himself back to reality by focusing on the words Marluxia said as they continued their tour.

Marluxia opened the flap to the first tent, revealing rows and rows and rows of costumes hanging on hangers and spread out on tables. There were sewing machines and a pegboard holding spools of thread in every color imaginable with multiple shades of each color. Trunks lined one wall and there was an area dedicated just to wigs. The rest of the tent was partitioned off into changing areas.

“This is our costume department, as you can see,” Marluxia said. “And Isobel here is our head of costumes. He indicated a white-haired woman currently bent over a sewing machine with a piece of cotton candy pink fabric. “She’s in charge of making sure all the costumes are in top form. Luckily, she has help. Isn’t that right, Izzy?”

“Mmm?” the woman straightened up and turned to look at them.

She was a plump, pleasant looking old woman dressed in all blue, including a blue kerchief on her head, whose dark eyes sparkled when she saw Marluxia. And yet up close, Demyx could see the dark circles under her eyes that indicated many sleepless nights and the way her fingers never stopped moving, like she had recently chugged a dozen Red Bulls.

“Hello Marluxia,” she said with a smile. “I hope you don’t have anything for me to fix. I’m completely swamped right now.”

“Oh no,” Marluxia said, laughing. “I was just showing the Strife boys around.”  
Isobel frowned. “Who?”

“The Strife boys,” Marluxia explained patiently.

“Oh yes, that’s right,” Isobel said, shaking her head. “Forgive me, dears. The mind is the first thing to go when you’re old like I am.” She looked around. “Now where did Flora, Fauna, and Merriweather go? Off having a spot of tea when there’s still so much work to be done, no doubt.”

“Well, we should leave you to it,” Marluxia said.

He herded the Strife boys out of the costume tent as Isobel muttered something that sounded like “Bibbidi-bobidi-boo.” They went into another tent.

“This is our makeup tent,” Marluxia said. “Our head of makeup is Jasmine here.”

He indicated an exotic woman with dark eyes, golden brown skin, and dark hair braided behind her head in a single, long plait. She glared at Marluxia as they approached.

“Go away, Marluxia. I’ve gotta reapply someone’s makeup because they smeared it," she said, turning to glare at a young Chinese woman seated in front of a large vanity with very smeared makeup.

“But Jasmine, I told you, it’s not my fault!” the woman protested. “Mushu squirted me in the face with a squirt gun!”

“Okay, Mulan, I believe you,” Jasmine said in an exasperated tone. “Now hold still.”

“Let’s go,” Marluxia whispered and he guided the Strife boys out of the makeup tent. “Next we have the weapons tent. We’ll only peek inside because our weapons master, Larxene, is kind of a bitch.”

He lifted the flap of the next tent and allowed them to peek inside at the rows and rows of wicked-looking weapons and a glaring blonde woman with poison green eyes dressed in all leather. Marluxia quickly lowered the flap and they hurried away.

“Here is the kitchen,” Marluxia said, quickly showing them the makeshift kitchen before a fearsome man Marluxia called Xigbar chased them out. “Next is the infirmary,” Marluxia continued, leading them on. “We have our own doctors who travel with us, Vexen and Hojo.”

Vexen was a tall, skinny man in his fifties with long dirty blonde hair and green eyes. Hojo was also tall and skinny with long dark hair and dark eyes. Both were dressed in stained lab coats and gave Demyx the creeps.

“Finally, we have the lounge tent,” Marluxia said, leading them into the second-largest tent. “This is where the performers mostly hang out between shows. There’s about twenty to thirty performers total, plus even more crew who keep the show running.”

The tent was surprisingly comfortable furnished with chairs and couches surrounding a big screen TV and even rugs on the floor. A corner was set up as a practice area with several performers practicing their routines. Marluxia led them to a couch facing away from them that appeared unoccupied at first glance. When they got closer, they saw a pair of long legs dangling over the edge.

“Axel! Hey Axel!” Marluxia said, giving the legs a swift kick.

They heard a loud yelp, followed by a long stream of curses, and then a red head appeared as the person laying on the couch sat up. Demyx instantly recognized him as the man from the fire act.

“What’d ya want, ya pink haired fairy?” the man said, yawning loudly. “Can’t ya see I’m tryin’ to take a nap here? Sheesh, you’ve got no respect, do you?”

Marluxia snorted. “That’s rich, coming from you. I merely wanted to introduce you to the sons of Sephiroth’s friends. These are Demyx, Roxas and Ven, sorry I don’t know which is which, and Sora. This is Axel, our resident pyromaniac.”

Axel turned toward them with bright jade green eyes, focusing on each of them in turn. When he spied Roxas with his multiple piercings and black leather, he raised his eyebrows.

“You’re pretty cute,” he said, his lips curling up into a smirk. “So are you Roxas or Ven?”

Roxas scowled at him. “Fuck off, creeper.”

“Roxas!” Ven squealed. He turned to Axel. “I am so sorry! My brother has a hard time holding his tongue.”

But Axel blinked and stared at Roxas for a few moments before bursting into laughter, showing off two rows of shiny white teeth.

“You’ve got some bite, don’t you?” he said, still laughing. “I like that.”

“Bit me,” Roxas muttered.

“Just say the word and I’d be glad to bite you,” Axel said with a wink.

“Psycho,” Roxas said.

“Okay, stop flirting, Fire Crotch,” Marluxia said.

Roxas raised his eyebrows. “Fire Crotch? That’s an interesting nickname.”

“I set my pants on fire once and now you all think it’s necessary to call me that,” Axel said, scowling.

Roxas looked like he was going to say something inappropriate so Marluxia wisely steered them away. “Sorry about that,” he said. “He means no harm. He’s just a big flirt, that’s all.”

“Really? I hadn’t noticed,” Roxas said sarcastically.

“Over in the corner there are Sephiroth’s sons Loz, Yazoo, and Kadaj. They’re the trapeze artists. They pretty much keep to themselves and no one really bothers them.” Marluxia lowered his voice to a whisper and added, “They’re kind of creepy. I’d stay away from them if I were you.” The Strife boys nodded. “And over here we have Lexaeus and Zexion, one of our dancing acts.”

Demyx’s heart started racing when he spotted a familiar slate-colored head sitting on a couch in the corner next to his giant red-haired partner.

“Hello Lexaeus,” Marluxia said. “I wanted to introduce you to the sons of Sephiroth’s friends Cloud and Aerith, Demyx, Roxas, Ven, and Sora.”

The red-haired man looked up at them with piercing blue eyes and merely politely inclined his head in their direction. Marluxia turned to the slate-haired boy and rolled his eyes.

“Are you ever not reading Zexion?” he said.

The slate-haired boy merely offered a shrug as a response, never looking up from his book.

“You’re as talkative as ever, I see,” Marluxia said. To the Strife boys, he added, “Don’t bother trying to get him to talk. He’s pretty much a mute.”  
Demyx peered at the title of the book Zexion was reading which was well worn, its pages starting to yellow and couldn’t help smiling.

“The Tempest, huh?” he said. “That’s one of my favorites. We are such stuff/As dreams are made on and our little life/Is rounded with a sleep.”

This caused Zexion to look up at him with a single raised eyebrow. Not only that, but Marluxia and Demyx’s brothers stared at him with stupefied looks as well.

“What? Did you really think I spent all my time playing music?” Demyx said.

Based on the expressions on his brothers’ faces, that was exactly what they thought.

Demyx rolled his eyes. “Hey, I do in fact have a life outside music. And yes, it does involve reading Shakespeare. Some of this stuff is actually pretty good.”

Zexion still didn’t say anything, but Demyx swore he saw the corners of his lips curl up into a slight smile.

“Demyx _really_ liked your dance,” Ven told him.

Zexion continued to look up at Demyx and he felt like he was being x-rayed so intense was Zexion’s stare. Demyx blushed deeply.

“Yeah, I thought it was a beautiful dance,” he said, embarrassed. “The two of you were completely in sync with each other the entire time and when you jumped, Lexaeus caught you without fail. How do you do it?”

Lexaeus and Zexion shared a glance and then Lexaeus said in a deep voice, “Lots of patience and trust.”

“There you boys are,” Aerith said as she and Cloud entered the tent. “It’s time to go. Did you have fun?”

“Yes,” all of them except Roxas said at once.

They said goodbye to Lexaeus, Zexion, and Axel, who had wandered over at some point. Suddenly, Zexion closed his book and got to his feet. He walked up to Demyx and leaned over.

“Goodbye, Demyx. It was a pleasure to meet you,” he said, his breath warm on Demyx’s skin.

Demyx blushed furiously. “Y…you too,” he stuttered.

“It was nice meeting all of you,” Marluxia said as they walked toward the tent’s entrance.

“You too,” Ven said politely.

“Yeah! It was a lot of fun!” Sora added.

“You’re all welcome to hang out with the performers if you wan while we’re here,” Marluxia said.

“Oh, we wouldn’t want to be a bother,” Aerith immediately protested.

“It’s not a bother at all,” Marluxia insisted. “The younger performers don’t get a chance to hang out with kids their own age aside from each other and it gets boring after a while, as you can imagine. The only thing is that they can’t interfere with the shows.”

“Can we mom? Please? Oh please?” Sora begged, giving their mother his famous puppy dog look.

“Come on, Aerith,” Cloud said softly. “It’ll be a great experience for them.”

“Oh all right,” Aerith finally caved. “I suppose it’s all right.”

“Yay!” Sora beamed brightly, bouncing up and down.

Demyx turned away from his family when he felt like he was being watched. Zexion stood a few feet away, quietly observing them. Demyx took a deep breath, his mind made up. He slipped away from his family who was still chatting with Marluxia, and walked over to Zexion.

“I…I was wondering if you’d like to get breakfast with me or something tomorrow morning,” he stammered. “I know you get your mornings off and all. I mean, it’s totally cool if you don’t want to. I can understand if you’d rather be alone.”

Zexion shook his head. “Breakfast would be lovely. Shall we meet at the front gates tomorrow morning at eight?”

“Yeah, that sounds good,” Demyx said breathlessly.

“I will see you tomorrow then,” Zexion said. “Now if you’ll excuse me, I have some things to attend to before the final show.”

Without further ado, he breezed out of the tent. Demyx quickly rejoined his family as they finally left, unaware that they were being watched by Marluxia.

“You’re taking a risk, you know, inviting the boys around like that.”

“It’s fine,” Marluxia said, not surprised at the redhead’s sudden appearance behind him. “As long as the shows run smoothly, Sephiroth doesn’t care what goes on behind the scenes. You’ve been with the circus long enough now to know that.”

“Yeah, but they might become corrupted if they hang around here too long,” Axel said. “You know what effect this place has on people if they stay for too long. Remember what happened with Zexion?”

Marluxia looked at him in surprise. “I didn’t know you were concerned about them becoming corrupted.” Axel merely shrugged in response. Marluxia turned back to watch the Strifes exit the circus. “You needn’t be concerned. Those boys won’t be so easily corrupted. In fact, they may be exactly what this circus needs.”

Then, he left to get ready for the last show, leaving behind a very bewildered-looking Axel.


	2. The Second Day

The Second Day

Demyx’s face broke into a huge grin when he saw Zexion waiting for him just outside the circus gates. The charcoal-haired boy was dressed in an ordinary long-sleeved grey shirt and jeans, but still somehow managed to look extraordinary.

“Hi Zexion!” Demyx said, trying not to think about how attractive Zexion looked. “Are you ready to go?” Zexion merely nodded. “Do you have anywhere in particular you’d like to go?”

Zexion shook his head. Then, he said in a soft voice, “I haven’t had a chance to explore this town yet; Sephiroth has kept us on a pretty tight leash. I was hoping you would be able to recommend a place.”

Demyx grinned. “I know exactly where we can go.”

Five minutes later, they walked through the front door of the Tram Common Café. It was a quaint little café situated in a small nook in the town center. It was a popular place with the locals and was always packed, but Demyx knew the owner, Tifa Lockhart, who was an old friend of his parents from Midgar.

“Morning Demyx,” Tifa greeted him cheerfully. “You’re just in luck if you want a table. One just opened up upstairs in the Observatory. Oh, who’s your friend?.” She peered curiously at Zexion. “Or is he your boyfriend?”

“Friend, friend. He’s definitely a friend,” Demyx said, blushing. “This is Zexion. He’s…in town visiting.”

“Is this your first time in Twilight Town?” Tifa asked Zexion.

Zexion merely nodded.

“He’s a bit on the shy side,” Demyx explained.

“Ah, yes, I know all about that.” Tifa smiled knowingly, pushing a lock of black hair out of her eyes. “So…table for two up in the Observatory?”

“Yes please,” Demyx said.

“All right. Kairi will show you to your table. Enjoy your meal,” Tifa said.

“Thanks Tifa,” Demyx said with a smile.

Kairi was a redheaded girl the same age as Sora who grinned at Demyx and beckoned for them to follow her with a pair of menus under her arm. As they followed her up the narrow stairs at the back, Zexion gave Demyx a questioning look and tilted his head in Tifa’s direction.

“Tifa? She’s a friend of my parents,” Demyx said, interpreting Zexion’s body language with ease. “And Kairi and I go to the same high school, though she’s actually my brother Sora’s age. Right, Kairi?”

Kairi nodded. “Pretty much everyone knows everyone and everyone’s connected in some way. It gets boring after a while. Anyway, here’s your table.” She directed them to a table right next to the large floor-to-ceiling windows that looked directly onto the Tram Common and set their meus down for them. “Your server will be with you in a minute.”

“Thanks, Kairi,” Demyx said as he and Zexion made themselves comfortable.

Kairi beamed at them and left. Demyx picked up his menu to look at even though he was pretty sure he already knew what he wanted. He snuck a glance at Zexion over the top of his menu. Zexion was studying his own menu, frowning thoughtfully. Zexion looked up and their eyes met. Demyx blushed deeply at being caught and opened his mouth to say something, but all that came out was an embarrassing gurgle. The corners of Zexion’s lips twitched and he looked back at his menu again. Demyx resisted the urge to thunk his head against the wooden table.

Fortunately, at that moment, their server came over to take their drink order. She was a dark-haired girl named Xion who was the fraternal twin sister of Kairi. She took their drink order without saying much and vanished. Demyx continued to pretend to study his menu until Xion returned with their drinks.

“Are you ready to order?” Xion asked.

Demyx looked questioningly at Zexion, who nodded. “Yeah, I think so.”

“All right. What can I get for you?” Xion said.

“I’ll have the chocolate chip pancakes,” Demyx said.

“Is bacon okay with that?” Xion asked.

“Yeah that’s fine,” Demyx said.

“And for you?” Xion asked, turning to Zexion.

“The vegetarian omelet please,” Zexion said softly.

“All right,” Xion said, writing on her pad. “What kind of toast would you like? We have white, wheat, rye, and sourdough.”

“Sourdough, please,” Zexion said.

“All right. I’ll get those orders put in for you,” Xion said.

“Thanks Xion,” Demyx said with a smile.

Xion nodded at him and took their menus. Demyx and Zexion sat in silence for a while, sipping their drinks.

Then, Demyx took a brave stab at conversation. “So uh…have you ben with the Disney Circus long?”

He immediately wished he hadn’t said anything; he could tell by the way Zexion’s hands curled up around his teacup and his lips tightened that he was upset by Demyx’s question.

“Sorry,” Demyx said. “Let’s talk about something else.” He cast his mind around for a better subject. “Shakespeare! We can talk about Shakespeare! Duh! Have you read all of Shakespeare’s works?”

He was sure he didn’t imagine the look of relief on Zexion’s face when he said, “Most. I haven’t been able to find copies of a few of his more obscure plays.”

“How come you collect them individually? Why not buy the complete collection in one volume?” Demyx asked, thinking about his copy of Shakespeare’s entire works sitting on his desk at home.

“It’s more fun this way,” Zexion said. “I visit used bookstores in every town we visit and it gives me a challenge of sorts.” He ducked his head and Demyx swore he saw a faint blush on his cheeks. “You must think I’m being foolish.”

“Oh no, not at all,” Demyx said hastily. “I think it’s really cool.”

“Really?” Zexion asked, looking up at him.

“Yeah,” Demyx said. “Hey, we have a used bookstore here. Do you want to drop in after we’re done with breakfast to see if you can find the plays you’re missing?”

“That would be wonderful,” Zexion said softly, his blush deepening.

“Okay, great!” Demyx said brightly. “I think you’ll really like it. It’s one of the coolest stores in Twilight Town.”

Zexion said nothing as he took another sip of tea, but Demyx swore he saw the charcoal-haired boy smiling slightly.

“Okay,” Demyx said, taking another brave stab at conversation. “What is your favorite play?”

“I have to choose just one?” Zexion asked.

“Yes,” Demyx said firmly. He laughed at the disgruntled face Zexion made. “Sorry,” he said when Zexion looked at him startled. “You just made the most adorable face ever.”

Zexion ducked his head again and didn’t look up for several minutes. When he finally did, he was definitely blushing.

“Come on,” Demyx persisted, trying hard to avoid thinking about how adorable Zexion looked when he blushed. “I know it’s difficult because there are so many good plays, but surely there’s one play you like to read over and over again?”

“Yes,” Zexion finally said. “Hamlet.”

“Why?” Demyx said. At Zexion’s curious look, he added, “It’s just so…so dark and depressing! I mean pretty much everyone dies in the end. How is that fun to read?”

“That’s not why I like it,” Zexion said quietly. “It’s the notion of Hamlet faking his madness that I find so fascinating. Sure, he says he’s faking his madness, but can his word really be trusted? It’s that ambiguity that interests me.”

“Wow,” Demyx breathed, leaning back in his seat. “You are really smart.”

Zexion’s lips quirked into a half smile, which he disguised by taking another sip of tea.

“What about you?” he asked.

“Me? Oh, um…” Demyx was saved by the fact that at that moment, their food arrived, so they fell silent as they turned to their attention to their food.

On their way out, they waved goodbye to Tifa, who was in the middle of a heated argument with a cross-looking woman who protested loudly about having to wait for a table.

“So,” Demyx said as they stood out in the sunlight. “Bookstore first or a tour of the town first?”

Zexion’s lips quirked. “You decide.”

“All right,” Demyx said. “The town isn’t that big and in all honesty it isn’t that exciting so we’ll start with that and end with the bookstore, which will probably be way more exiting, okay?”

Zexion nodded so they set off through the Tram Common. It was the unofficial center of the town with a number of small shops and restaurants, all made out of the same sandy bricks. There was a small movie theater, a post office, and some various other governmental offices as well. A tram ran all the way through the Tram Common before splitting off into several branches that served the rest of the town.

They walked up Market Street, past even more shops and up the gentle sloping hill toward the train station. They couldn’t go inside without purchasing a ticket, but they could at least look at the glass building. Demyx tried to keep up a constant stream of narration and say interesting things, but he felt like he was failing miserable, not from being uninteresting, but because there really wasn’t a whole lot to Twilight Town. Zexion, for his part, listened attentively, which was encouraging.

By the time they were walking back down Market Street, the sun was high in the sky and it was getting very hot. Demyx’s T-shirt was starting to stick to his back and he was glad when they finally made it back to Tram Common.

“It’s just over here,” Demyx told Zexion, who had to be even hotter than he was in his long sleeves.

He paused for a moment before opening the door to the Princesses of Heart Bookshop. Somewhere in the back of the store, a bell tinkled, announcing their arrival. They were hit with a wave of cold air and the scent of old books. Demyx loved the smell almost as much as the smell of fresh music sheets. The shop was small and dimly lit. As far as the eye could see were books, crammed on bookshelves or stacked on tables. They were of all shapes and sizes, thin paperback books and large hardcovers, and some bound in leather that cost more than Demyx would ever be able to afford. Demyx turned to Zexion and smiled at the image of pure joy written across the young boy’s face.

“Come on, the classics are back here,” Demyx said.

Without even thinking, he grabbed Zexion’s hand and pulled him towards the back of the store. Zexion stiffened slightly at the contact, but didn’t force Demyx to let go of his hand. Demyx stopped in front of a large bookshelf that went all the way up to the ceiling.

“Here we are,” he said. “Let me see if I can find a ladder so we can get to the books at the top. Belle doesn’t mind as long as we’re careful.”

He spent a good half hour searching for the only ladder the Princesses of Heart Bookshop had, finally tracking it down leaning against a bookshelf crammed with self-help books with titles such as “Helping You Be You and Not the Man Your Mother Wants You To be” and “What to Do Before You Say I Do: A Guide to Planning Your Dream Wedding.”

The ladder was probably once nice, but it was an ugly, worn out thing held together with duct tape, willpower, and possibly voodoo. There were numerous shards sticking out so that one had to be careful when anywhere in close proximity to it or else suffer from nasty splinters. You didn’t even need to be close to it and get splinters from it, as Demyx had found out the hard way. Sora had dubbed it the “Doom Ladder” and Demyx thought the nickname was apt.

When he returned carrying the ladder like it was a package rigged to explode at the slightest movement, Zexion was talking quietly to the owner of the shop who had wandered out of the shadows at some point. Belle was a young woman in her late twenties who had somehow come into ownership of the Princesses of Heart Bookshop about five or six years ago. She was quite pretty, though Demyx wasn’t much of a judge of beauty in women, with brown hair always pulled back into a bun and dreamy brown eyes.

“Oh hello Demyx,” she said when Demyx loudly cleared his throat to get their attention.

He knew it was rude to interrupt, but if he didn’t, they would be there for hours because Belle was…well…an airhead. She could talk for hours without even realizing it had been that long. Demyx knew. It had happened to him before.

“I found a ladder, Zexion,” he said.

“Thank you,” Zexion said. “Belle says she thinks there might be some of Shakespeare’s works up near the top. She can’t say for sure, because she doesn’t keep an exact inventory.”

“That doesn’t surprise me,” Demyx muttered. “Here.”

He set the ladder down in front of the bookshelf.

Zexion eyed the woebegone ladder distastefully. “Are you sure that thing is safe?”

“It’s fine,” Demyx said. “I’ll hold it steady for you. Don’t you trust me?”

“I trust you,” Zexion said. “It’s that ladder I don’t trust. What’s holding it together anyway?”

“Uh, lots of duct tape, willpower, and some voodoo, probably. It’ll be fine,” Demyx said. “I think,” he added under his breath.

“How reassuring,” Zexion muttered.

“Be careful of the splinters,” Demyx warned as Zexion began to mount the ladder.

Zexion stopped with his foot on the lowest rung and turned around to give Demyx a very dirty look. “I hope you know that if I fall, I’m planning on landing on top of you.”

“Noted,” Demyx said.

He stood behind Zexion as he started to slowly climb, keeping the Doom Ladder steady the best he could. Even so, it wobbled threateningly with every step Zexion took. Demyx tried to keep his mind on holding the ladder and steady and not on Zexion’s ass, which was difficult, seeing as it was right in front of his face. It was a pretty nice ass too, if Demyx did say so himself. When he realized where his thoughts were going, he ducked his head, grateful for the fact that Zexion’s back was turned so he couldn’t see how much Demyx was blushing.

He didn’t look up again until Zexion had climbed down again and needed him to move out of the way. He had a thin paperback book tucked under his arm.

“Did you find what you were looking for?” Demyx asked, nodding at the book under Zexion’s arm.

Zexion wordlessly showed him the title, _Troilus and Cressida._

“Huh. I haven’t heard of that one,” Demyx said, frowning. “What’s it about?”

“It takes place during the later years of the Trojan War…” he paused.

“I know what the Trojan War was,” Demyx said, rolling his eyes. “Helen was married to the king Agamemnon. Paris, a Trojan, fell in love with her because she was hot, kidnapped her, and banged her. Agamemnon got pissed and went to war to get her back. And there was a thing with Achilles who got offended by something or other and refused to fight until his friend and maybe lover got killed pretending to be him.”

“That is essentially the story, yes,” Zexion said, his lips quirking up into a half smile. “This mostly focuses on that story, but it also focuses on Troilus and Cressida, who are two Trojans who fall in love with each other at first site and then of course bad things happen.”

“So sort of like Romeo and Juliet?” Demyx asked.

“A bit, I guess,” Zexion said. “I mean, I don’t know how it ends up for them since I haven’t read the book, but it’s labeled as a tragedy, and we all know how Shakespeare’s tragedies ended up.”

“Yeah,” Demyx muttered. “Everyone dies. De-press-ing.”

“I suppose,” Zexion said.

They made their way to the front of the store so Zexion could pay for his book. Then, they set out across the Tram Common. They grabbed a quick lunch at a deli and then it was time for Zexion to head back to the circus.

“You never told me,” Zexion said as they walked back. “What is your favorite Shakespeare play? And for the love of god, please do not tell me that it’s Romeo and Juliet.”

“What’s wrong with Romeo and Juliet?” Demyx asked.

“It’s so…ugh!” Zexion said.

“It’s romantic,” Demyx said. Zexion rolled his one visible eye. “You don’t think so?” Zexion shook his head. “How is it not romantic?”

“They’re all morons, that’s why,” Zexion said. “Especially Romeo. He’s completely obsessed with Rosaline, who doesn’t give him the time of day, but then he forgets all about her the moment he sets eyes on Juliet. Friar Laurence said it best: ‘Is Rosaline, whom thou didst love so dear,/So soon forsaken? Young men’s love then lies/ Not truly in their hearts, but in their eyes.”

“So?” Demyx challenged. “Can’t someone fall in love at first sight?”

“No,” Zexion said bluntly. “I don’t believe in love at first sight. Just like I don’t believe there’s anything romantic about Romeo and Juliet committing suicide to be together.”

“I think it’s very romantic,” Demyx said. “They decided they would rather die than be apart.”

“But it was entirely unnecessary!” Zexion protested. “If Romeo hadn’t acted so hastily, he wouldn’t have thought Juliet was dead and then killed himself, which led to Juliet killing herself when she woke up and found her love dead.”

“Well yeah, I’ll give you that, but he’s young, so what do you expect?” Demyx said.

“True,” Zexion said. “I still think it’s silly to kill yourself over a girl. I’d never do it.”

“What about a boy?” Demyx asked and he waited, holding his breath as Zexion looked sideways at him.

“No,” Zexion finally said.

“Oh,” Demyx said, disappointed.

“That is,” Zexion quickly added. “I wouldn’t kill myself over one. Falling in love, well, that’s different.”

Demyx’s breath hitched in his throat. Did that mean what he thought it meant? He glanced sideways at Zexion, but the teen’s face was difficult to read. Instead, he asked, “What about me? I mean, would you like to see me again? Because I’d like to see you again unless you didn’t have fun today because all we did was walk around and I did show you the bookstore which I guess is cool and…” he cut himself off when he realized he was babbling, as he usually did when he was nervous. “Sorry,” he muttered as Zexion stared at him.

There was a long silence and then Zexion finally said so softly Demyx could barely hear him, “I’d like to see you again.”

“Really?” Demyx asked.

Zexion nodded. “The show ends at 5:30 and then we eat dinner. Would you like to join me? Our cook Xigbar is excellent and there’s always plenty of food.” He looked at Demyx nervously, but Demyx smiled.

“I’d love to,” he said.

“Okay,” Zexion said. “I will meet you at the front gates then.”

“Sounds good,” Demyx said. Zexion turned to go and Demyx thought of something. He grabbed Zexion’s wrist and prevented him from leaving. Zexion stiffened and turned back to Demyx. “For the record, my favorite play is _The Tempest.”_

Zexion stared at him and then his lips slowly curled up into a smile. Demyx could tell that it was a real smile this time, and it made him smile as well.

“See you later, Zexion,” he said, and, letting go of Zexion’s wrist, walked off towards home.

***

Lexaeus waited for Zexion just inside the gates with a frown on his face.

“You shouldn’t get too close to him,” he warned as they started to walk towards the makeup tent. “It can’t last.”

“I am aware of the rules,” Zexion assured him as they went into the makeup tent.

In addition to Jasmine’s work area, there were individual cubicles where cast members could apply their own makeup if they chose. Zexion sat down in his assigned cubicle, which had a table with a large lighted mirror and a stool. His area was immaculate, as always, with all his makeup containers carefully labeled. Some might have called it anal, but Zexion considered it organized; he could always find what he needed quickly so applying his makeup took less time.

He sat on his stool and flipped on the light so that his pale face was illuminated. He frowned at his reflection, then reached into one of his labeled drawers for his foundation. He didn’t wear a lot of makeup, not like some of the other cast members, but he was still extremely meticulous with his makeup. He put on foundation first and then the barest touch of blush to put some color in his cheeks. He put on mascara to emphasize his eyelashes and finally eyeliner to bring out his eyes. When he was done, he looked at himself in his mirror again, and was much more satisfied with how he looked.

When he was done, he waited for Lexaeus and then the two of them went into the main event tent together for the full dress rehearsal. Fortunately, costumes were not required during the dress rehearsal so they could wait until after it was over before changing. They took their places as the stage manager stepped out. Cid was a foul-mouthed, bad-tempered, chain smoking man of about forty or so with scruffy blonde hair and pale grey eyes.

“All right ya lazy cunts, let’s go through this without stopping,” he barked. “Places everyone. I’ll be nice today and give you five seconds.”

Zexion snorted; the man usually gave them three seconds and even then, they were not three full seconds but really two-and-a-fourth seconds. Cid glared at him.

“Something you find funny, kid?” he growled. Zexion shook his head. “That’s what I thought. Now if we’re through, let’s begin. We can skip Marluxia’s opening speech and start with Zidane. Oy kid, are ya ready?”

“I’m here! I’m ready!” Zidane said, rushing forward and tripping over one of the set pieces.

Cid rolled his eyes. “Just get in your place.” Zidane scrambled forward. “Make sure his wire is tight,” he threw at Tidus, one of the stage hands. “Don’t want no accidents ‘cause that means paperwork and y’all know how much I fucking hate paperwork.”

“He’s secure, sir,” Tidus said, his jaw clenched.

“Good. In five…four…three…two…one…now,” Cid said as the music started.

Zidane took a deep breath and stepped through the curtains.

“And curtain in five…four…three…two…one…now!” Cid barked.

Guy, a giant, muscular man with brown eyes, short cropped brown hair, and tan skin silently nodded and pulled the curtains open. The music blared, echoing throughout the empty theater. Zexion tried to ignore the throbbing in his temples and waited. When it was finally his and Lexaeus’s turn, he took a deep, calming breath, and stepped out onto the stage. It was always strange, stepping out when no one was there, but he didn’t let it bother him.

When the dress rehearsal was finally finished, Zexion and Lexaeus had just enough time to change into their costumes and check their makeup. The last thing Zexion did before the show started was go into his bag and reach for the pill bottle he knew was there. Lexaeus frowned at him as he swallowed one of the pills, but didn’t say anything, as was his way.

They took their places as the show started. Zexion closed his eyes and took deep breaths. He could already feel the Xanax at work, but he still liked doing deep breathing exercises to help keep him calm.

“Okay everyone, places,” Cid barked, coming backstage. “This is not a drill! Marluxia, you have three seconds to get your pansy ass out here!”

“I’m here,” Marluxia said, striding forward.

“Three seconds,” Cid said. “Two…one…go!”

Marluxia stepped through the curtains. “Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the Disney Circus!”

The show passed in a blur. Everything ran smoothly for once, which was extremely rare. Usually something went wrong, even if it was something as small as a minor glitch. After they took their curtain call, Zexion made his way through the crowd toward the circus’s entrance. As promised, Demyx stood there waiting for him.

“Hi Zexion! He said with a huge grin on his face. “How was the show?”

“Fine,” Zexion said quietly. “We actually didn’t have any problems, which is rare. Usually there’s at least something that goes wrong.”

“Good,” Demyx said.

They headed for the dining tent. It was already fairly crowded, but not too bad. They joined the end of the line and waited. Demyx stared as they came up toward Xigbar. Zexion couldn’t blame him; Xigbar was in his fifties, maybe sixties with jet black hair streaked with grey pulled back into a ponytail, an eyepatch, and numerous scars that gave him a menacing look. Xigbar scowled at Demyx and he quickly adverted his eyes.

“Friend of yours?” Xigbar asked, his lips curling up into a sneer as he passed out that night’s meal; roasted herb chicken, mashed potatoes, carrots, and a biscuit.

Zexion just stared levelly at Xigbar. They grabbed soda from the machine at the end of the line and found seats at one of the tables. They were joined by Lexaeus and they chatted amicably as they ate dinner. To be exact, Demyx did most of the talking while Lexaeus and Zexion listened. When dinner was over, Zexion walked Demyx out.

“I really enjoyed today,” Zexion said quietly as he and Demyx stood at the gates.

“We can do it every day if you want,” Demyx said.

Zexion hesitated. “I…I don’t know. I’m leaving in a week and a half. We shouldn’t get too attached to each other.”

“So?” Demyx said. I don’t really care if you’re leaving or not. Even if you and I never see each other again, I want to spend time with you for as long as we have.”

Zexion was silent, unsure of how to respond to that. He had never met anyone quite like Demyx and he wasn’t sure what to do.

“Can I see you tomorrow?” Demyx asked, breaking Zexion out of his thoughts.

“Yes,” Zexion whispered.

He really wanted to see Demyx again even though he didn’t understand why. There was just something about the blonde that drew Zexion to him.

“Okay,” Demyx said.

He hesitated for a moment and then kissed Zexion on the cheek. Zexion froze, but didn’t force Demyx away. Then, Demyx smiled at him and left. Zexion felt a huge wave of guilt, but was able to bury it partly because he had to focus on the last show of the night, partly because of the Xanax. God was he glad that Vexen had agreed to prescribe it for him to help keep his anxiety level low.

After the final curtain call, Zexion quickly headed back to the costume tent to snag a changing room before they filled up. He got lucky tonight and was able to change out of his hot, itchy costume into his much more comfortable regular clothes right away. He hung up his costume in its proper place and then went to the makeup tent. He sat down in front of his mirror and pulled out his makeup remover. He worked quickly to remove all his makeup, only looking at his reflection long enough to check that it was all gone.

Then, he waited for Lexaeus and the two of them walked back to the hotel room they shared. The night air was warm and humid, but it was rapidly cooling off. Luckily, their hotel was only a short walk away. They were silent as they walked, which Zexion didn’t mind at all. That was one of the reasons Zexion instantly took a liking to Lexaeus when he joined the Disney Circus; he was so quiet and didn’t force conversation.

When they got back to the hotel, Zexion grabbed some clean clothes and immediately went into the bathroom to shower. The hot water felt extremely good on his aching body after such a long day. He finished his shower quickly and dressed in a black tank top and a pair of black sweatpants. When he was done, it was Lexaeus’s turn to shower. While he was in the shower, the guilt that Zexion had been trying to repress came spilling out. His hands shaking, he went into his suitcase and brought out the small pill bottle hidden at the very bottom. He stared at the sleeping pills that he knew he shouldn’t take because they interacted with his Xanax, but he figured that the Xanax was out of his system by now so they wouldn’t interact. He swallowed a pill with the aid of some water and stretched out on his bed, hoping he would be able to sleep dreamlessly for once.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> References: to Final Fantasy II, Final Fantasy VII as well as Final Fantasy VII Advent Children, and, of course, Shakespeare. I couldn’t resist throwing in Shakespeare because I’m a huge Shakespeare nerd. For the record, my favorite Shakespeare play is a tie between Hamlet and The Tempest with Macbeth coming in second. I’ve never read Trolius and Cressida so I had to google a summary of it. 
> 
> Follow me on Twitter @rikodeathangel for updates about fanfictions and life in general and look for me on Tumblr as Rikothedeathangel (long story about why that’s my username)


	3. The Fifth Day

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This story is rated M. This chapter is one of the reasons why.

The Fifth Day 

Axel took a deep breath as he stepped out of his hotel room. It was a beautiful summer morning, warm but not too hot, and the sky was an absolutely stunning shade of blue. Everything was perfect. The Strife boys had all been visiting the circus every day and somehow, things had been a lot brighter since they came around. Sora was extremely outgoing and just so goddamn happy and it was hard to be grumpy when he was around. Ven was also a bright, happy guy, though less so than Sora. Even Demyx was cheerful. The only one who wasn’t a ball of sunshine was Roxas, but his sourness balanced out the other Strifes and he even seemed mellowed in the presence of his brothers. Axel knew it wouldn’t last, but he wanted to enjoy it while it did.

He had lived in darkness so long it was nice to have some light. He couldn’t even remember a time when there had been light in his life. His father had taken off when he was small and his mother had snapped after he left. It hadn’t been easy, being raised by someone who was in and out of lucidity. When she had finally kicked the bucket when Axel was twelve, he and his older brother were shuffled from relative to relative for a couple years. Then, when he was fourteen, the Disney Circus came to town. He instantly fell in love with it and he left his aunt and uncle to join them. It was like that in a lot of the towns they visited, they found. The circus attracted those who felt like they didn’t belong, the outcasts, the misfits, and they were welcomed with open arms. It seemed like in almost every town they picked up new members who wanted to join the circus.

The one exception was Zexion. Lexaeus had found him on the streets of Hollow Bastion near the end of their season and brought him back to the circus. He had been such a scrawny, weak thing, sick from malnourishment and exposure. No one expected him to survive, but Lexaeus, gruff, scary Lexaeus, had personally nursed him back to health in their off season and the next season, Zexion had joined them on their tour as Lexaeus’s partner.

Even though things had gotten better when Axel joined the Disney Circus, they still weren’t perfect. Being part of a travelling circus for most of the year was highly stressful. Sephiroth was strict and worked them hard, demanding perfection from them. In order to cope with his high demands, some of them turned to drugs and alcohol. Fortunately, they were still able to function (Sephiroth would have had their heads, literally), but it still put a strain on things. Axel knew that things were not going to end well and that when the Disney Circus did end, it would be very messy. And he didn’t want the Strife boys to be part of that. They deserved to be better to caught up in all that.

And Axel would do whatever he could to protect them.

He cut through the park, whistling a jaunty tune. He passed tennis courts, baseball fields, and soccer fields with games already underway. Children ran barefoot through the grass, playing tag, and picking flowers while their parents sat nearby gossiping. Axel envied them and their carefree lives. Twilight Town was so peaceful and quiet where nothing extraordinary ever happened. The people lived comfortable lives, untouched by hardship. The problems of the rest of the world seemed to pass this place right by, leaving it as a haven in a world of darkness. And Axel could understand how Sora, Ven, and even Demyx were so bright and happy, growing up in a town like this.

The sound of someone singing caught his attention because he recognized that voice. He stopped whistling and followed the sound of the voice. Then, he stopped. And stared. Sitting beneath a flowering tree on a blanket were Demyx and Zexion. Demyx strummed a guitar, his youthful, melodic voice echoing as he sang.

 “ **And you can tell everybody that this is your song. It may be quite simple but now that it’s done. I hope you don’t mind, I hope you don’t mind, that I put down in words how wonderful life is now you’re in the world.”**

Zexion sat gazing up at Demyx with a serene smile. Axel had never seen Zexion express any sort of emotion before. He always had seemed so cold and distant, never expressing any emotion aside from the bored stare he gave everyone, even Lexaeus. Yet now he was almost a completely different person, warm and open, like he had been wearing a mask all this time and this was who he truly was.

The song ended and Demyx leaned closer. Axel’s breath caught in his throat when Zexion leaned in as well and closed the gap between their lips. Demyx’s free hand wrapped around Zexion’s head to bring him closer, deepening the kiss. Shaking his head, Axel scurried off before it became even more intimate.

 

.o.O.o.

“What’s eating you?”

Axel smiled as he entered the hotel room. He flipped on the lights, revealing a dingy, cheap room. It was cheap, discreet, and most importantly, on the highway between Twilight Town and its sister city Traverse Town, so no one would think to find him here.

“Seriously Ax, what’s up?”

Axel turned to the blonde reclining on the only bed in the room and shrugged. “Nothing.” He got a pair of raised eyebrows in response. “Okay, I saw your brother and Zexion kissing in the park.”

“You have a problem with my brother being gay?”

“No, of course not,” Axel said quickly. “I just never thought I’d see Zexion kissing anyone, let alone your brother. I always figured him to be asexual because he never showed interest in anyone, period. Not even Lexaeus. He’s always been a frigid little bastard.”

Roxas smirked. “You thought I was too.”

“Yeah, true,” Axel said, grinning as he joined Roxas on the bed.

“And now?” Roxas asked, his mouth hovering close to Axel’s.

Axel swallowed hard, his Adam’s apple bobbing in his throat. “You’re not as frigid as I thought.”

Roxas laughed softly and brought their lips together. Axel immediately wrapped his hand around Roxas’s head. He tried as hard as he could to squash the feelings of guilt and self-loathing that rose to the surface every time he kissed Roxas. He was a sick, hypocritical bastard, and he knew it. He wanted to keep the Strife boys from being corrupted and yet here he was corrupting one of them. It wasn’t a healthy relationship, to be sure; it couldn’t last because Axel would be leaving in a couple weeks and getting attached was dangerous. And Roxas was underage, for God’s sake! That in itself was wrong on so many levels.

And yet Axel found himself unable to stay away from Roxas.

He had found Roxas physically attractive from the first moment he had laid eyes on him; blonde hair, blue eyes, gorgeous body, what wasn’t to like? His good looks belied a sharp personality and an even sharper tongue and a lot of times, that was a turn off for people, but Axel found it to be a turn on instead. Roxas acted like a stubborn asshole, hell, he probably _was_ a stubborn asshole, but he wasn’t afraid to tell people how he really felt and Axel could respect that. There was no bullshitting with Roxas, no silly games. What you saw was what you got. Axel had found that out on Day 2 and hadn’t it been interesting when Roxas realized that Axel wasn’t bothered by his prickly attitude at all? No one believed that Axel could seduce Roxas, but Axel liked a challenge. It had taken a few days for Roxas to warm up to him, but he had, and here they were.

“Are you going to fuck me or are just going to lay there and stare at me all day?”

Axel blinked as Roxas’s bluntness brought him out of his thoughts. He grinned and leaned down to snag a kiss.

“Oh, I think we both know the answer to that,” he said.

“Then prove it,” Roxas challenged.

“If you wish,” Axel said.

He forcibly pushed his guilt and disgust at himself down so he could enjoy this moment with Roxas. After all, they didn’t have forever. He unbuttoned Roxas’s shirt and traced a finger down his chest. The blonde shivered. Grinning, Axel squeezed one of his nipples. Roxas gasped. Axel squeezed the other one and Roxas gasped again.

“So sensitive,” Axel murmured, rubbing circles on Roxas’s stomach with his thumb.

“Stop teasing me!” Roxas hissed.

“But Roxie, it’s fun to tease you,” Axel protested, slowly unbuttoning Roxas’s jeans.

“Don’t call me Roxie!” Roxas scowled at him.

“Whatever you say, Roxas,” Axel said.

He slid Roxas’s jeans and boxers down his narrow hips and placed several slow kisses on Roxas’s thighs, causing the blonde to squirm.

“Just fuck me already!” he hissed.

“All right, all right,” Axel huffed. “No need to get bitchy.”

He shed his clothes in a hurry and pulled on a condom. He forcibly cleared his mind so he could enjoy the sensation of sliding into Roxas. Roxas gasped and brought his lips up to Axel’s. Axel met his mouth, tongue slipping past Roxas’s teeth. He closed his eyes, unable to look at Roxas as he fucked the boy hard. It wasn’t until it was all over and he and Roxas lay side by side in a sweaty, messy heap that Axel dared to open his eyes and look at Roxas. The blonde’s eyes were half open, he was just beginning to slip into sleep. He was deceptively angelic when he was half awake.

“You’re staring,” Roxas said, eyes suddenly open and bright with alertness.

“You got a problem with that, Roxas?” Axel questioned.

Roxas scowled at him. “It’s creepy. And how many times have I told you not to call me that?”

Axel merely laughed at the blush forming on Roxas’s cheeks despite his deep scowl and leaned over to snag a kiss.

God, what was wrong with him?

He rolled onto his back, scowling up at the ceiling.

“Ax? What’s wrong?” Roxas asked, immediately sensing Axel’s rapid change in mood.

“Nothing. I…ah…need to be getting back,” Axel said.

“Already?” Roxas frowned. “I thought we’d have more time together than this.”

“Ah, I…forgot I gotta run and do some things before rehearsal,” Axel said.

“Like what?” Roxas asked.

Axel winced, caught in the lie. He quickly cast his mind around to find an excuse, any excuse, but nothing came.

Look, I just gotta go, okay?” he finally said.

He hastily got up and pulled his clothes on. He tried not to think about how hurt Roxas looked as he hurried out of the hotel room, slamming the door behind him.

.o.O.o.

“We need to talk.”

Demyx turned as he heard the familiar gravelly voice carrying across the circus grounds and his heart skipped a beat as Lexaeus headed toward him. He obediently waited for Lexaeus to catch up even though he would have much rather run as far away from the man as he possibly could. He swallowed hard, trying his best to not show how petrified he was right now. On a good day, Lexaeus intimidated him; he was at least twice the size as Demyx both height wise and weight wise and he had this mess-with-me-and-I-will-end-you-in-the-most-unpleasant-way-possible vibe he gave off. But he waited as Lexaeus caught up to him and wordlessly steered him away from his intended target of the circus’s exit. He waited for Lexaeus to speak, knowing he would start the conversation when he was ready. He waited for what he knew was coming.

Despite what people might think, Demyx was smart. He knew that it was inevitable that Lexaeus, whom Zexion was the closest person to in the Disney Circus and was the only one Zexion gave the time of day (aside from himself, of course) would give Demyx The Talk. They were near the end of their first week in Twilight Town and would therefore be leaving in another week and Lexaeus would want them to break things off because anyone could see how close Zexion and Demyx had become in such a short period of time. And it was bad because Zexion would be leaving, but Demyx couldn’t. He couldn’t break things off with Zexion, not now. The thought of being without Zexion scared him even though he’d only known him for five days. And he was sure Zexion felt the same way and he had to make Lexaeus understand that. Even though they had only known each other for five days and it didn’t make any sense, Demyx felt like he had known Zexion all his life and he couldn’t let go of that.

 “You need to break things off Zexion.”

Demyx winced at Lexaeus’s bluntness, but took a deep breath. He was ready for this. He could do this. He had to.

“No.”

All right, it came out more nervous sounding than he’d intended, but he’d managed to get the word out instead of an embarrassed squeak, so that was progress, right?

And yes, he wanted to piss himself when Lexaeus looked at him sharply, but he didn’t. He managed to stand up straight and stare Lexaeus down.

“I…I can’t,” he explained. “I really like him.”

“That doesn’t matter,” Lexaeus said. “Your relationship cannot continue. He will be leaving soon and won’t return for a decade. It simply does not work.”

“I know,” Demyx said. “But love can overcome all obstacles. I know it doesn’t make sense, but that’s what love is. It’s something that doesn’t make sense and defies all expectations and explanations and it’s crazy and absolutely terrifies me, but I haven’t felt like this about anyone before.”

“You will find someone else,” Lexaeus said dismissively.

“No.” Demyx was surprised at how sure he was. “There’s no one else for me but him. I’m absolutely sure. I won’t love anyone else but him until the day I die.”

“You don’t know for sure,” Lexaeus said.

“I do,” Demyx said softly.

“Break it off with him,” Lexaeus said.

“Or what?” Demyx challenged, trying to sound more brave than he felt. “Are you gonna kill me?”

Lexaeus stared at him coolly and for a second, Demyx thought he really was going to kill him, but all he said was, “You must end your relationship” before walking away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My apologies for the lateness of this. I decided that I hated 90% of the chapter and had to rewrite pretty much all of it and then I didn’t have motivation to work on it. I’m taking a hiatus in July to do Camp NaNoWriMo with another project, so I’ll be back to working on this in August. Hopefully things will go smoother.  
> Soundtrack: “Your Song” from Moulin Rouge which was a cover of the Elton John version for the scene where Axel comes across Demyx and Zexion (and is also what Demyx is singing) and “Supermassive Black Hole” by Muse for the sex scene between Axel and Roxas which is also their theme.  
> Now I’m going to bed because it’s past midnight and I have to be up at 6:30 for work. At least it’s Friday and there’s a nice holiday (though I actually have to work on the Fourth of July holiday).


	4. The Thirteenth Day

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: This chapter contains material that may be considered triggering for certain readers including mentions of attempted suicide and mentions of rape. Reader discretion is advised. There is also sexual content.

The Thirteenth Day

“Uh-oh,” Axel muttered, backpedaling as he, Roxas, Demyx, Zexion, Lexaeus, Ven, Sora, and Riku went to find a place in the dining tent.

“What’s wrong?” Roxas asked.

“It’s Larxene,” Axel hissed. “Let’s go this way.”

It was too late, though; Larxene had seen them and was heading straight for them.

“What’s wrong with Larxene?” Roxas asked.

“Uh, she’s a sadistic bitch who likes to kick puppies in her spare time?” Axel said.

Larxene scowled as she came over to them. “I heard that.”

“I know,” Axel said, giving her a pointed look.

“Dick,” Larxene said.

“Whore,” Axel returned.

“Manwhore.”

“Slut.”

“Now children, let’s stop the name calling,” Demyx said, ever the peacemaker.

“Stay out of this, twerp,” Larxene snapped at him.

Demyx stepped back, his face crumpling a little.

“Don’t you use that tone with Demyx,” Zexion said coldly.

Nearly everyone did a double take because this was the first time most of them had ever heard him speak. Only Lexaeus and Demyx didn’t look surprised that Zexion was capable of speech. A few moments passed and then Larxene regained her composure.  

 “Why don’t you go fail to kill yourself again, you little emo bitch,” she sneered.

Everyone fell silent. Even the Strife boys, who hadn’t been around that long, knew Larxene said something she shouldn’t have. No one dared to speak for long time. Zexion stared up at Larxene with his one visible eye narrowed and he hissed softly between clenched teeth. Then, he turned and stalked off. Demyx and Lexaeus shared a glance and then followed him. Larxene stormed off in a different direction, leaving Sora, Roxas, Ven, and Riku behind with Axel.

“What was that all about?” Roxas asked.

All of them turned to Axel expectantly.

“Let’s go find a table,” Axel muttered awkwardly; the entire dining tent seemed to be staring at them.

They chose a table in the corner and set their trays down.

“All right, look,” Axel said, running his hand through his spiky red hair once all of them were settled. “We don’t know a lot, but…okay. So last year, we’re in Radiant Garden, right? We’re doing our tour thing, no big deal. Out of the blue, Zexion goes to Sephiroth and asks him for a day’s leave. Says he wants to visit his family who lives in Radiant Garden.

“So okay, Sephiroth lets him go spend the day with his family ‘cause he’s a good guy.” Roxas snorted at this. “No, really. Deep down, he’s a nice guy.” Roxas raised his eyebrows. “Okay, maybe _way_ deep down, but he let Zexion go so that has to mean something, right? So anyway, he goes and comes back and we don’t think anything of it. He’s quiet about it, but we’re not worried because Zexion is always quiet. I mean, before your brother came around, no one except Sephiroth, Lexaeus, and Vexen had ever heard him utter even a single word.

“No one, not even Lexaeus had any idea something was wrong until Lexaeus found him on the floor of the men’s room. He had slit his wrist with one of Larxene’s knives and lay bleeding on the ground. Luckily, Lexaeus got him to Vexen in time so he didn’t die, but it was pretty close.

“I remember afterwards, after Vexen came out and told us Zexion was going to be okay, Lexaeus went in there and had a long, private talk with Zexion. Then he came out and told us that Zexion wouldn’t try and kill himself again. To this day, no one knows exactly what Lexaeus said, but Zexion hasn’t tried to kill himself again.”

o.O.o

Demyx silently followed Lexaeus. He knew that somehow, Lexaeus knew where to go. They went into the men’s room and found Zexion there, standing in front of the row of sinks. He took several deep breaths, his hands resting on the counter His breathing became irregular and his shoulders shook.

“Zexion,” Lexaeus said softly.

Zexion turned and Demyx was surprised to see tears in his one visible eye, threatening to spill out. Lexaeus took several steps forward and wrapped his arms around Zexion, his grip surprisingly gentle for such a large man. Demyx merely watched, not wanting to intrude on this intimate moment.

“It’s okay,” he heard Lexaeus murmur in Zexion’s ear. “It’s okay. You’re not that person anymore.”

They stood that way for a long time until Zexion finally murmured something indistinctly in Lexaeus’s ear. Lexaeus nodded and pulled away. Both of them turned to Demyx. Lexaeus’s face was unfathomable as always, but for once, Zexion’s wasn’t. Demyx could see how upset he was, how vulnerable he looked. He wanted to run over and hug him, but restrained himself because he knew Zexion wouldn’t like it. Instead, he put a comforting hand on Zexion’s shoulder and indicated that they should sit down. They sat on the nasty tiled floor that was probably crawling with bacteria and Demyx waited.

Finally, Zexion said in a shuddering voice, “I want you to understand something okay? Just because I tried to kill myself before…it doesn’t mean I still want to. I don’t.”

“I understand,” Demyx said quietly.

Zexion gave him a sideways look, but continued, “You need a bit of background first, I think, to understand the full story. My parents died when I was eight and I was adopted by a man named Ansem, one of the best known researchers in modern times. When I was ten, Ansem got a lab assistant, a man named Xehanort.”

He paused and a wave of revulsion crossed his face. Demyx could sense where Zexion’s story was heading, but that didn’t stop the sick feeling in the pit of his stomach when Zexion continued, “And soon after that, a couple months later, Xehanort began molesting me. It happened a couple times a week while we were alone together in the labs. And he got away with it too.”

“How?” Demyx asked breathlessly. “Didn’t your foster father ever get suspicious?”

Zexion shook his head. “Xehanort was meticulous about that. Besides, Ansem was never around. I was too naïve to understand there was something wrong with what Xehanort was doing until the night he raped me.”

Demyx inhaled sharply and looked up at Lexaeus, who stared inscrutably back at him. He looked back at Zexion, who still wore a look of deep disgust.

“I was thirteen when it happened,” Zexion said. “It was late and the two of us were finishing up in the lab. Ansem had gone up to bed at that point so we were alone. And Ansem’s room was on the third floor, so he was completely oblivious to what went on down there. I won’t give you the intimate details, but he forced himself on me.” He shuddered, his facial features twisting unpleasantly at the memory. “I think the worst part was that my body responded to his touch and it appeared that I was enjoying it even though I did not. I feel like my body betrayed me that night and I hate myself for it to this day.” He stopped for a moment, wrapping his arms around his knees, and looking like a lost child. Finally, he shook his head, and said, “I tried to tell my foster father what happened that night, but he didn’t believe me. Even worse, Xehanort convinced him that I was lying. He was always a good liar.” The bitterness was back. Then, a ghost of a smile crossed his face. “The second time he tried to rape me, I was ready for him. He underestimated me again, but that was the last time.” At Demyx’s horrified expression, he added, “Oh, I didn’t kill him, though I’m sure he wishes he was. And he won’t be having sex ever again. I made sure of that.”

Demyx shivered at the haunted look on Zexion’s face.

“After that, I ran away, afraid that Xehanort would claim I attacked him unprovoked. I left my foster father a note and ran. I lived on the streets for a few months, never staying in one place for too long, always looking over my shoulder and worrying that I was going to be arrested, but no one came. And then, one day, Lexaeus found me.” A ghostly smile crossed his face again. “After that, I joined the Disney Circus. Then last year, well…”

He pushed up his right sleeve to reveal a long slash mark across his wrist that stood out dramatically against his pale skin. Demyx hesitated for a moment and then traced his fingers around the raised edges of the scar.

“Does it hurt?” He asked quietly.

“Not anymore.” Zexion shook his head. He pushed his sleeve down, hiding the scar from sight.

“But why…?” Demyx asked.

“I went to see my foster father,” Zexion said. “And things went badly. We fought over everything. He disapproved of me being in the circus. He always thought the arts were soft. He didn’t understand that dancing was an outlet for me and it helped me cope with everything I had been through. He wanted me to devote my life to science, like him. But after what happened with Xehanort, I wanted nothing to do with science and he couldn’t understand that. Worst of all, he didn’t believe me when I told him that Xehanort raped me. He chose to believe that…that man who said I was the one who came onto him, over me, his foster child.” Zexion’s face twisted into an unpleasant grimace, barely able to contain his anger. “We both said unpleasant things and parted ways on a bad note. When I got back to the circus…” he sighed quietly and it took a minute for him to continue, “I regretted my actions the moment the knife slid across my skin, but at the same time, I couldn’t bring myself to do anything about it. I thought ‘Would it really be wrong if I were to just vanish?’ I didn’t think anyone would miss me. After all, I barely existed at the circus. I never talked, never really interacted with any of the other cast members. I didn’t think anyone saw me. But I was wrong.” He smiled up at Lexaeus. “Lexaeus saw me and he saved me. He was there, had always been there.” Then, he turned to Demyx. “And then I met you. And you saw me.”

 “I did,” Demyx said with a smile. “And I thought you were the most gorgeous guy I had ever seen. ‘O she doth teach the torches to burn bright!/It seems she hangs upon the cheek of night/Like a rich jewel in an Ethiope’s ear;/Beauty too rich for use, for earth too dear!/ So shows a snowy dove trooping with crows,/As yonder lady o’er her fellows shows/The measure done, I’ll watch her place of stand,/And touching hers, make blessed my rude hand./Did my heart love till now? Forswear it, sight!/For I never saw true beauty ‘till this night.’ That’s what I thought, though of course, you were a guy, not a girl.”

Zexion blushed. Demyx leaned over and gently kissed Zexion on the lips. They only broke apart when Lexaeus cleared his throat.

“We need to go,” Lexaeus said, giving Zexion a significant look. “It’s almost time for the last show.”

Zexion nodded. “I’ll be right there. I want to walk Demyx out.”

Lexaeus frowned disapprovingly, but left them in the bathroom. Zexion and Demyx slowly got to their feet and exited the bathroom. They walked to the gates in silence.

It was only when Demyx was about to leave that Zexion asked, “Will you come see me tonight after the show? I know where we can go and not be found.” Demyx was able to read between the lines and understand what Zexion was really asking. He blushed, but then he nodded. “Then I will meet you here tonight at about eleven.”

“All right,” Demyx agreed.

Zexion hesitated for a moment and then kissed Demyx on the lips. Then, he turned and walked away.

o.O.o

Zexion had never been more relieved to be finished with a show before. Everything had gone smoothly, but everyone had been at each other’s throats and things had been extremely tense all night. He quickly changed into more comfortable clothes and removed his makeup, then grabbed his bag and hurried out before Lexaeus could follow him. Demyx waited for him at the gates as promised.

“Hey, Zexion,” he said, smiling nervously.

“Are you ready?” Zexion asked.

“Yeah,” Demyx said.

“Come with me, then,” Zexion said.

He led the way down the street. Neither of them spoke while they walked. Finally, they came to a sleazy looking hotel on the edge of town. Demyx turned to Zexion with raised eyebrows.

“Thank Axel,” was the only explanation Zexion gave before leading him inside.

One extremely awkward conversation later, the clerk at the front desk gave him a brass key and pointed him to a narrow staircase in the back. They went up the stairs and found themselves in a long, dimly lit, grimy hallway.

“This place is disgusting,” Demyx muttered as they made their way down the hallway, past doors with peeling paint and wooden numbers that were nearly falling off.

“Yes,” Zexion agreed. “But it’s the only place we can go without anyone finding us.”

“How the hell does Axel even know this place exists?” Demyx wondered. “I never knew this place was here and I’ve lived here since I was six.”

Zexion shrugged. “Axel is Axel. He knows exactly where every sleazy place in every single town is. I don’t know how he does it, nor do I want to know.”

“Yeah, I don’t think I want to know either,” Demyx muttered.

Finally, they stopped in front of door 225. Zexion stuck the key in and twisted it. It took a lot of effort, but he finally managed to get the door open.

“This place is a shithole,” he muttered as he and Demyx went inside.

The interior of the room was even worse than the exterior. The room was small and sparsely furnished with a single bed with a large worn headboard, a radiator dripping with some unidentifiable slime that probably glowed in the dark, moth-eaten curtains drawn over the windows, and small TV that was probably at least forty years old mounted to the wall. A door led to a small, cramped bathroom with an old toilet and a tub that was growing mold. The carpet was stained with god-only-knew-what and the bedspread was not much better.

“Don’t worry,” Zexion said as Demyx eyed the stained bedspread. “I came prepared.”

He produced a large blanket from his bag and spread it out over the bedspread.

“There. Now it’s a lot more hygienic,” he said.

Demyx stared at him incredulously. “You brought a blanket?”

“Of course I did,” Zexion said, rolling his one visible eye. “You didn’t think I was going to trust anything at a hotel like this, especially one recommended by Axel, did you?”

“I guess not,” Demyx mumbled. 

They stood awkwardly for a very long time. Then, Demyx finally brought their lips together, very gently.

“Are you sure you’re okay with this?” he asked. “I don’t want to push you and make you uncomfortable, especially after what happened…”

“It’s fine,” Zexion said. “I’m fine, I promise.” He hesitated for a moment and then added, “I have to admit that I’m a bit curious. I want to know what it feels like when it’s not forced. When it’s real, you know?”

“Yeah,” Demyx said. “I understand.” His face grew serious for a moment. “If something happens to bother you, please tell me, okay? I don’t want you to be uncomfortable and I don’t want you to get upset. Promise me you will. Otherwise…otherwise, I can’t go through with it.”

Zexion stared at Demyx for a long time. He was completely opposite from Xehanort who had not asked permission about anything and had forced himself upon Zexion.

“I promise,” he finally said softly.

“Okay,” Demyx said. “We’ll go slow, okay?” He blushed. “This is the first time I’ve done this.”

“Please tell me you at least know where to stick your cock,” Zexion said, his lips quirking up into one of his half smiles.

“Oh my god, you seriously did not just say that to me!” Demyx burst out laughing, dispersing the tension in the air.

“Well?” Zexion asked, only half serious.

Demyx leaned over and kissed him long and hard this time. “Of course I know where to stick it. I might be a virgin, but I’m not naïve.”

“Do you have protection?” Zexion asked.

Demyx rolled his eyes and produced a condom from his wallet. Zexion smirked. Demyx led the way to the bed and they slowly undressed. Their touches were slow at first, hesitant, neither of them really knowing what they were doing or what they even wanted. Demyx fumbled with his condom, his hands shaking. Everything was slow and awkward between them, but that was okay. It didn’t have to be perfect because neither of them were perfect.

Zexion gasped when Demyx entered him, but urged the blonde to keep going when he hesitated. It was nothing like when he was roughly penetrated by Xehanort. He knew Demyx wouldn’t hurt him. He trusted Demyx.

When it was over, they lay side by side, breathing heavily. Then, Demyx leaned over and gently kissed him, brushing his bangs to the side.

“I’d better get going,” he said. “I have a curfew and my mother will kill me if I’m late and then bring me back to clean up the mess.”

Zexion smirked. “We wouldn’t want that, would we?”

They reluctantly got up and dressed. Zexion rolled up the blanket and put it back in his bag and they left the key with the front desk clerk. At the street, they stood together under the lamplight, reluctant to say goodbye. But at last, Demyx gave Zexion one last kiss goodbye and wandered off. Zexion watched him go and then turned toward the circus.

He didn’t notice the three silver-haired figures following him until it was too late.

They stepped out of the shadows and surrounded him with ease, moving with catlike grace. Zexion immediately knew who they were though they had barely spoken. He, like the majority of the circus people tried to avoid them as much as possible. He swallowed hard as they closed in. The youngest, Kadaj, Zexion thought, was the one who landed the first punch, straight in his gut. It was a hard hit and he doubled over in pain. His bag dropped and its contents spilled on the ground. The other two joined in, punching him mostly in the chest and gut. He eventually fell to his knees, the pain overwhelming, but he refused to utter a single syllable. He would not give them the satisfaction of knowing that they were hurting him.

“That’s enough,” a soft voice called.

Obediently, the boys stepped back, though Kadaj punched him one more time for good measure. Zexion looked up at Sephiroth towering over him through blurry vision.

“You need to break things off with Demyx,” he said in his silky smooth voice. “Otherwise, I will send them after him.” He nodded to his three sons lurking in the shadows. “And they will not merely beat him up like they have you. You are too valuable to get rid of. He, however, is not as valuable, and I have no qualms about doing what is necessary for the good of the circus.”

“What are you…saying?” Zexion asked.

“He’s saying that we’re gonna go kill your boyfriend unless you break up with him,” Kadaj said with glee.

Zexion felt his whole body go cold. “You wouldn’t.”

“I would,” Sephiroth said in a dangerously quiet voice. “And I will. You must decide if you are willing to forfeit your lover’s life. Come, boys.”

Kadaj leered at Zexion and gave him one more hard kick in the gut as he passed. Zexion lay on the ground, then curled up in the fetal position. He laid there until dawn, not capable of doing anything else. All he could think of was that Demyx was in trouble and it was all his fault.

He didn’t even bother looking up when he heard the heavy footsteps coming toward him; he didn’t care anymore. He was lifted up into a strong pair of arms. He closed his eyes, knowing he was safe. He didn’t open them again until he was set on a soft surface. He was laying on a cot in the infirmary. Before he could say anything to Lexaeus, who stood beside his cot with his arms crossed. Vexen came in.

“Oh, what did you do this time, child?” he said when he saw Zexion.

He didn’t wait for Zexion to respond. He bustled around, stripping off Zexion’s shirt, and doing an examination.

“It looks like you may have cracked a few ribs, but nothing more serious than that,” he said when he was finished. “What did you do?”

“I fell,” Zexion said hoarsely.

Vexen raised his eyebrows. “You fell?”

“Yes,” Zexion said firmly.

Fortunately, Vexen didn’t question it any farther. “I’m going to tape up your ribs just to be on the safe side. I want you to be careful the next few weeks, until they have a chance to heal. You can still dance, but be careful. Understand?” Zexion nodded. “All right. Stay put; I’m going to get some bandages.”

He hurried out of the tent before Zexion could respond.

When Zexion was sure Vexen was gone, he said hoarsely, “Lexaeus, he’s going to kill Demyx if I don’t break things off with him. What am I going to do?”

Lexaeus immediately knew who he was talking about even without asking.

“There’s only one choice you have,” he said slowly. “You have to force Demyx away. You have to make him believe you don’t love him. Hurt him. Hurt him to save his life.”

“But I love him,” Zexion whispered.

It was the first time he had admitted it out loud and it was strange, rolling off his tongue. He loved Demyx. He _loved_ him. He would do anything for him to make him happy, to see him smile that lazy smile of his that made Zexion’s heart flutter. He didn’t understand it at all, but it was the truth.

“If you love him, you’ll do this,” Lexaeus said.

A tear slipped down Zexion’s cheek. Lexaeus reached over and gently brushed it away.

“It’s for the best,” he said softly. “Sooner or later, it would have to end. You know it and I’m sure he does too. It wasn’t meant to be.”

He pulled away as Vexen reentered the tent carrying an armful of bandages. Vexen frowned at Lexaeus, but the large man offered no explanation and Vexen didn’t force one from him. He set the bandages on a nearby table and helped Zexion carefully sit up. Then, he tightly bound Zexion’s chest with bandages.

“There,” he said when he was finished. “That should do it.”

“Thank you,” Zexion said quietly.

He put his shirt on with some difficulty. He was stiff and sore from the beating he took. Lexaeus watched, but didn’t interfere. Together, the two of them left the infirmary tent and went to get breakfast. The sun was rising and it looked like it was going to be a beautiful day.

It felt horrendously inappropriate. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author’s Notes  
> Well that was an eventful chapter. The chapters are going to be a lot more eventful from here on out so buckle your seatbelts!  
> Soundtrack: I listened to “Jeux d’Eau” from O for the sex scene between Zexion and Demyx. It’s a really gentle piano piece that suits the two of them well. And for the scene where Kadaj and his brothers attack Zexion, I listened to “Rinzler” from Tron: Legacy, which is a beautiful, ominous piece that has a great build-up as the song progresses.  
> References: Moulin Rouge finally gets a reference and of course Demyx’s quote from Romeo and Juliet is from Act I Scene IV when he first lays eyes on Juliet. Like I said, I’m a Shakespeare nerd. :P


	5. The Fourteenth Day

The Fourteenth Day

Marluxia let himself into the hotel room Zexion and Lexaeus shared. Somehow, it had fallen to him to get Zexion to get out of the room he was currently refusing to come out of. He had been there all morning, after he and Demyx had broken up. Lexaeus had tried to coax him out with no success. That had been the first surprise; Lexaeus could get Zexion to do pretty much anything. The second had been that it was up to him to get Zexion to come out.

The room was dark, but his eyes quickly adjusted and fell on the solitary  figure laying on the far bed.

“Zexion?” he called out softly.

He received no response, not that he was really expecting one; Zexion was still pretty much a mute, though more cast members had claimed to have heard him speak in their presence.

He carefully picked his way across the room and switched on the light between the two beds. Zexion barely even reacted to the light. Marluxia walked around to the other side and resisted the urge to recoil when he looked down at Zexion; he had never seen anyone look so utterly broken before. Zexion’s charcoal grey hair was messy, his clothes rumpled, a far cry from the prim and proper Zexion Marluxia was used to seeing. It was easy to forget sometimes that the guy was human and capable of feeling. Marluxia could see that now, written all over his face. He had broken up with Demyx, and he was absolutely miserable.

“Hey,” Marluxia said softly, crouching by the side of the bed so his eyes were level with Zexion’s. “Lexaeus told me what happened and I’m sorry. But you know, it’s for the best. Sephiroth will not hesitate to kill Demyx if he thinks he’s a threat. It’s much better this way.” Zexion remained silent, glaring up at him with one red-rimmed eye. “I know. I didn’t want it to be like this either, but there really isn’t any other way. You know what happens to those who stay around the circus too long. They become tainted. We’re children of the underworld. We can’t afford to love.” He was hoping to get a reaction out of Zexion, any sort of reaction, but Zexion just stared at him. He sighed. “Look, you can’t lie in bed forever. You need to get up and keep going, you know? The show must go on.” Zexion soundlessly shook his head. “I know, I know. But you know it’s true. The show isn’t going to stop. It never stops. The only thing you can do is move on. I know it sounds extremely callous, but it’s the truth.”

“How can I go on?” Zexion whispered

Marluxia stared at him in shock; this was the first time he’d ever heard Zexion utter a single word since he joined the circus.

“You must find the strength inside yourself to stand up and continue moving forward,” he said after a long pause. “I know you can do it. I have faith in you.” Zexion simply stared at him and a single tear slipped down his cheek. “I will see you at two for the rehearsal.”

Then, he left.

“Another hero, another mindless crime behind the curtain, in the pantomime,” he said under his breath as he walked out of the hotel. “The show must go on. It’s our duty to provide the people with a show. If only there was something I could do…”

Slowly, a plan began forming in his mind. He would need help, of course, but if he could pull this off, he could change things for the better.

 

o.O.o.

Zexion tried to ignore the stares and whispers of the others as he walked onto the circus grounds for the last time. He kept his head held high and his face a perfect mask of indifference. He was always good at pretending. He sat in front of his mirror. His pale face mocked him as he reached for his makeup.

“My heart may be breaking, my makeup flaking, but my smile will still stay on,” he muttered. “I must carry on with the show. Marluxia is right. The show must go on.”

He tried as hard as he could to believe it. He applied his makeup with fury, trying to drown out the voices in his head that called him weak, pathetic. He covered all the blemishes, all his flaws and imperfections. He put color in his cheeks and lips and darkened around his eyes, making it darker than he ever had before. He looked at his reflection again and he saw Demyx’s sad, pitying eyes looking back at him.

_“You don’t mean it,” Demyx said._

_“Yes I do. Every word of it,” Zexion said._

_“But…” Demyx said, biting his lip._

_“We need to face the truth,” Zexion continued. “This wasn’t going to work out. It’s better for the both of us if we just end things.”_

_“But…I thought…you felt the same way I did…” Demyx faltered._

_“You thought wrong.” Zexion hated seeing the hurt look on Demyx’s face, but he forced himself to continue. “It was fun, I have to admit, but now that fun must come to an end.”_

_“So you…you never felt anything?” Demyx asked._

_“I can’t feel,” Zexion said curtly._

_“I don’t believe that for an instant,” Demyx said._

_“It was all an act,” Zexion said._

_“I don’t believe you,” Demyx said firmly. “You’re not that cruel.”_

Anger bubbled up inside him and he threw his makeup bag at the mirror. It cracked and Demyx’s face vanished. A sob tore at his throat and he covered his mouth with his hand to muffle the sound. He breathed deeply through his nose, but it didn’t help; he could feel the hysteria building.

He heard hurried footsteps behind him and Lexaeus’s low  voice in his ear, “Where?”

“Bag,” Zexion managed to say through his fingers.

He heard shuffling and rustling, and then a firm hand on his shoulder. He looked up at Lexaeus, who held a pill and a bottle of water for him. He uncovered his mouth long enough to swallow the pill with a couple mouthfuls of water and then put his hand back. His eyes burned with tears and he sniffled softly, refusing to let himself cry. After a few minutes, Lexaeus squeezed his shoulder.

“We have to go or we’ll be late for rehearsal,” he said quietly.

Zexion swallowed hard. “Okay.”

“Are you all right?” Lexaeus looked at him with a worried frown.

“Yes,” Zexion whispered.

It was only a half truth; the Xanax hadn’t had time to kick in yet, but he knew how to cope. He stubbornly clamped his lips together, refusing to cry anymore. He smiled at his reflection, distorted from the crack in the mirror and it was a hollow, haunted smile, but it was the best he could do. He switched off the light and followed Lexaeus out of the makeup tent.

Zexion was glad there was only a 4 PM show; he didn’t think he could have made it through three shows. He was ready to pack up and move onto a new city, leaving everything behind, including the man he loved. Rehearsal ran smoothly and then it was time for Zexion to change into his costume. He waited with Lexaeus as the opening music began. The tension in the air was palpable and Zexion wished he had more than the one Xanax.

The bright stage lights blinded him momentarily when he stepped out from the much darker backstage area. His breath hitched as he stared out into the sea of faces and suddenly, he couldn’t move.

“Go!” Cid hissed from backstage as the first few bars of music played. “For Christ’s sake, don’t stand there like an idiot! Move! Do something!”

Zexion shook his head and started moving. He stumbled slightly, but caught himself, and started dancing. He was hyper-aware of everything; the bright lights burning down on him, the audience’s eyes following his every move, the creaking of the wooden boards beneath his feet, his rapid heartbeats, and, most of all, his shallow, anxious breaths.

 _Deep breaths,_ he reminded himself firmly. _Deep breaths._

It didn’t help. He was blazing hot, his skin itched, and as he continued dancing, his vision swam and blurred before him. He could feel every bit of him shaking even as he pushed himself on through the routine and his injured ribs blazed with every step he took. He forcibly put all of his emotions into the dance to help him ignore the pain, holding nothing back. All the pain, anxiety, and sorrow came pouring out and it took everything he had to keep his tears from falling. And the entire time, Lexaeus was there, watching him like a hawk to make sure he was okay and that nothing went wrong. Usually, his physical presence on the stage was enough to keep Zexion’s anxiety at bay, but not tonight. He could feel his heart racing, his limbs shaking.

He pushed himself harder than he had ever pushed himself before, unwilling to let his weakness show. All he had to do was survive a little longer and then it would all be okay.

His feet slipped on the worn wooden boards and he was barely able to catch himself that time. His vision was worse and the stage swam in and out of view, swirling around, so he barely knew which way was up and which way was down. Lexaeus lifted him and he pointed his face toward the ceiling, the lights blinding him. He could barely find his footing when Lexaeus set him down. He was tired and his limbs felt like jelly and all he wanted to do was close his eyes, but he knew he couldn’t.

He stumbled and this time, he couldn’t catch himself. He toppled sideways, but Lexaeus was there in one swift, graceful movement, his body acting as a shield. He somehow made the act of putting his arms around Zexion to steady him seem like it was part of the show and he held Zexion up until the song ended and he could regain his balance. Zexion had just enough strength to take a bow and get off the stage. As soon as he was safely backstage, his legs gave out. Fortunately, Lexaeus was there to catch him.

Without saying a word, he lifted Zexion up and carried him through the crowd.

“Move,” he barked. “Get out of the way!”

People silently moved out of the way. They made it out of the tent. The fresh air felt good and Zexion inhaled deeply as Lexaeus carried him across. They went into the lounge tent, which was pretty much empty, and Lexaeus set Zexion in a chair.

“Put your head between your knees,” he commanded. “I’m going to get Vexen.”

Zexion nodded and put his head between his knees, remaining that way until Lexaeus returned with Vexen.

“What’s wrong Zexion?” Vexen asked anxiously, hurrying to Zexion’s side. “Are you injured?”

“I was feeling a bit faint, but I’m feeling better now,” Zexion said, straightening up. “I think I just needed to sit down for a few moments and put my head between my knees.”

Vexen pursed his lips. “I’m still going to need to have a look at you.”

“We have a curtain call in a couple minutes,” Zexion protested, trying to get up.

Vexen put his hands on Zexion’s shoulders and forced him to sit back down. “You are not going anywhere until I examine you.”

Zexion opened his mouth to protest, saw the look Lexaeus was giving him, and promptly closed his mouth. He bowed his head and silently nodded.

“That’s better,” Vexen said. “Now…” he looked around. “I think it would be best if we went to the infirmary. Lexaeus, can you…?” He gestured to Zexion.

Lexaeus nodded and easily scooped Zexion up into his arms. Zexion uttered a soft protest, but didn’t fight. Lexaeus carried him out of the lounge tent and across the grounds.

“What’s going on?” a voice asked as hurrying footsteps came toward them.

“Zexion has fallen ill, Marluxia,” Vexen answered curtly. “I’m taking him to the infirmary for treatment. Will you let Sephiroth know?”

“Yes,” Marluxia said and Zexion heard his footsteps hurrying away.

They walked across the grounds in silence until they came to the infirmary tent.

“Put Zexion on that cot.” Vexen nodded to a cot in the corner as they went inside.

Lexaeus obeyed. Vexen pulled the curtain around the cot and said, “Go and get Zexion a change of clothes while I examine him.”

“All right,” Lexaeus agreed and he vanished.

Vexen turned to Zexion. “I will be right back. I need to grab a few things. Don’t even think about getting up.”

“I won’t,” Zexion promised.

Even if he wanted to get up, he couldn’t; as soon as he was laying down on the cot, all his remaining strength had drained away. Vexen gave him a severe look and disappeared. Zexion could hear Hojo calling out to Vexen, too far away for him to hear what he was saying and Vexen’s curt response. Then, there was silence. Minutes ticked by and then Vexen reappeared carrying a black bag. He set it on a nearby cart and opened it. He pulled on a pair of rubber gloves and took out a stethoscope. He listened to Zexion’s heart and breathing, took his blood pressure and temperature, and checked his pulse.”

“Dehydration for sure,” he muttered. “Possibly overexertion as well. Sephiroth does enjoy working them hard…”

Still muttering to himself, Vexen left. He returned a few moments later carrying a bag containing a clear liquid.

“Ah, excellent timing,” he said without looking up as Lexaeus returned carrying Zexion’s bag. “Help me get his costume off. I need to start an IV.”

“Is it serious?” Lexaeus asked, setting the bag on the floor.

“Moderate case of dehydration,” Vexen said. “He’ll be all right once I get some fluids in him. Help me with this beastly thing.”

Lexaeus and Vexen wrestled Zexion out of his costume. He let them; he was too tired to care. Lexaeus dressed him in his usual outfit; a black long-sleeved shirt and black sweatpants while Vexen stuck a needle in his arm.

“Will you keep an eye on him?” Vexen asked Lexaeus softly when he was done.

“Yes, of course,” Lexaeus said.

“I’m going to get a washcloth for his forehead to help bring his fever down,” Vexen said.

When he was gone, Lexaeus leaned down and said softly, “Rest, Zexion.”

“I have to pack,” Zexion protested weakly, trying to sit up.

“Shh,” Lexaeus said, forcing Zexion to lay back down. “You need to rest. Cindy is packing your makeup for you.”

Zexion smiled up at him. “Thank you.”

“Rest,” Lexaeus persisted.

“Will you stay until I fall asleep?” Zexion asked in a small voice.

“Of course,” Lexaeus said and he pulled up a chair by Zexion’s side.

Zexion hesitated for a moment and then reached out for Lexaeus’s hand. Lexaeus smiled gently and took Zexion’s hand. He gave it a reassuring squeeze and continued to watch it as Zexion finally closed his eyes and drifted off to sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author’s Notes  
> I meant to bring this up last time, but the last couple chapters might take a while to be posted because I’m working two jobs now. I’m going to do my best to have them out in a timely manner, though. Damn student loans. It’s the only reason I had to go back to my old shitty job at Speedway (a gas station chain for those of you who don’t live in the Midwest) on the weekends.  
> References: Moulin Rouge of course as well as Cinderella and Leoncavallo’s “Pagliacci”, an Italian opera that was briefly parodied in the Hey Arnold episode “What’s Opera, Arnold?” and also appeared in The Simpsons episode “The Italian Bob”.  
> Soundtrack: For the beginning of the chapter I listened to “The Show Must Go On” from Moulin Rouge which is referenced by both Marluxia and Zexion. I also listened to “Roxas Theme” by Drammatica, which is a beautifully haunting orchestral version of Roxas’s Theme from Kingdom Hearts II. It, as well as Xion’s theme, Musique Pour La Tristesse de Xion seem to be my go-to music for sad scenes.


	6. The Twentieth Day

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: This chapter gets intense at times. There are references to rape, murder, and attempted suicide, among other things. Reader discretion is advised.

The Twentieth Day

Of all the people Demyx expected to see standing there when he opened the door after the doorbell rang, the last one he expected to see was Marluxia.

“What are you doing here?” he asked. “I thought you guys left for the next town.”

“Yeah we did, but I came back because I needed to talk to you and Roxas,” Marluxia said. “May I come in?”

 “Uh yeah, of course,” Demyx said, feeling rather stupid.

He moved out of the way, allowing Marluxia to enter. He noted the pink haired man’s haggard appearance; his hair and clothes were in a disarray and he looked like he hadn’t slept properly for days.

He led Marluxia into the kitchen, saying with as much enthusiasm as he could muster, “Look, we have a visitor, Roxas!”

Roxas looked up from his plate of food and scowled at Marluxia. “What do you want? To add insult to injury? To kick us while we’re down? Well, go on. Take your best shot. I can take it.”

“That’s not why I came.” Marluxia sat at the table and indicated for Demyx to do the same. “I came to tell you two the truth because you need to know it. You _deserve_ to know.”

“Know what?” Roxas asked.

“Why Axel and Zexion broke up with you,” Marluxia said.

There was a profound silence for a few moments before Roxas hissed, “Don’t ever say that fucker’s name in front of me again. Ever.”

“Don’t you want to know why he broke up with you?” Marluxia protested.

“Oh, I know exactly why he broke up with me,” Roxas hissed venomously. “Because it didn’t mean anything. It was just a fling and nothing more. He didn’t care about me at all, never did. He just wanted to fuck me.”

“That’s not true,” Marluxia said.

“It is and we all know it.”

“He did it because…”

“I don’t want to hear it. I don’t care.”

“WILL YOU JUST SHUT UP AND LISTEN TO ME?!” Marluxia exploded.

Roxas fell silent at this. He and Demyx both stared at the pink-haired man who had never raised his voice in front of them, ever.

Marluxia ran his hand through his hair and regarded the boys sadly. “Neither Axel nor Zexion wanted to break up with you guys. They weren’t given a choice. Sephiroth found out somehow and threatened to kill you unless they broke things off with you. It’s happened before. Sephiroth is an extremely ruthless and possessive man with a vast array of resources at his disposal. If he perceives a threat, he will not hesitate to eliminate it, no matter what.”

“And you expect us to believe that?” Roxas demanded.

“I believe you,” Demyx said softly. Both Marluxia and Roxas turned to stare at him. “It makes sense. I mean, I don’t know how Axel was when he broke things off with you, but when Zexion broke up with me, I could see that he was scared, even though he was trying to hide it. I could tell he didn’t want to break up with me; he was being forced to.” Roxas pursed his lips. “Rox, think about it. It makes sense.”

Roxas pursed his lips more. “I’m not saying I believe you,” he said slowly. “But I guess it makes sense.

Marluxia breathed an audible sigh of relief and rubbed his forehead with the palm of his hand.

“So what do we do now?” Demyx asked after a long silence had elapsed.

“We wait,” Marluxia said. When Roxas made a sound of protest, he added severely, “If you come anywhere near the circus, Sephiroth will send his sons to kill you.”

“I’m not afraid of them,” Roxas said stubbornly.

“Don’t underestimate those three.” Marluxia said. “You have no idea what they’re capable of.”

“And you do?” Roxas asked.

“Yes!” Marluxia said. He ran his fingers through his hair in his agitation, making it stand on end. “Look, a couple years ago, there was this kid named Tristan who had a juggling act with the Disney Circus. When we were in Fantasia, he fell in love with a local girl named Isolde. Cute girl. Sephiroth found out, of course, and he tried to pressure Tristan to break things off with her. He stubbornly refused, even when Sephiroth threatened to murder her. They planned to elope and no one could talk them out of it.” He sighed, suddenly looking years older. “Sephiroth sent his sons after him. They forced Tristan to watch them take turns raping her and then murder and dismember her. Then for good measure, they raped him and beat him nearly to death. We found him near the train tracks barely clinging to life. We brought him to Vexen, but his injuries were too severe. He died a couple days later in extreme agony.”

Demyx covered his mouth to stifle a sob, tears burning at his eyes.

“Why are you telling us this?” Roxas said in a strangled voice.

“So you understand what you’re up against,” Marluxia said.

“And you’re sure it was Sephiroth’s sons?” Roxas asked.

“Yes,” Marluxia said in a gentle voice. “They pretty much went around bragging about it.”

“And no one did anything?”

“You have no idea how much power Sephiroth has!” Marluxia’s voice rose again and Demyx was glad that their mother had taken Sora and Ven clothes shopping and their father was at work. “He’s pretty much untouchable. He has extremely powerful connections and is even friends with the president of Shin-Ra and everyone knows how powerful he is.”

“Okay,” Demyx said, cutting Marluxia off. “You’re right, Marluxia. We can’t go to the Disney Circus right now. It’s far too dangerous.”

“So we’ve just gotta stay put here?” Roxas asked angrily.

“For now, yes,” Marluxia said. “All you can do right now and wait and be patient. There will be a time when Sephiroth will no longer be able to operate the circus. I feel now that it’s inevitable that the Disney Circus will collapse. I will not bore you with the intimate details. When the time comes, I will need your help with something. Can I count on you?”

“What is it?” Roxas asked suspiciously.

“I don’t know yet,” Marluxia said and somehow, Demyx had the feeling that he was lying. “It isn’t exactly clear when the end will come or how it will come, but when it does, I will need both of you.”

“Sure,” Demyx said. Roxas opened his mouth to protest, but Demyx gave him a pointed look and he shut it again. “We’d be glad to help. Right Roxas?” He gave Roxas another pointed look.

“Yeah,” Roxas grumbled.

“Great!” Marluxia said, his face brightening. “Let’s exchange phone numbers so we can keep in contact with each other.”

There was silence as they passed their phones around the table and exchanged numbers. Then, Marluxia stood.

“I’d better go,” he said. “I don’t want to be late from rehearsal. I…I’ll be in touch.”

Demyx walked him out. As soon as Marluxia’s car was gone, he returned to the kitchen.

“Come on. Get up,” he said. “We’re going.”

Roxas stared up at him. “Going where?”

“Where do you think? Disney Circus.”

“I thought Marluxia said not to because Sephiroth would set his psycho sons after us.”

“I know,” Demyx said. “I…I can’t explain it, but I feel like something bad is about to happen and I have to be there.”

“All right,” Roxas agreed. Demyx stared at him, not believing that Roxas would agree so easily. Roxas never agreed to _anything._ Roxas’s lips quirked up into a smirk. “I trust you and your weird ass sense. Maybe you there is such a thing as a sixth sense. Maybe you can see dead people. I don’t fucking know. What I do know is that you’re very rarely wrong about that sort of thing. So I trust you and your early doom warning sense thing.”

For the first time in what seemed like forever, Demyx burst out laughing. “Thanks, Roxas.”

Roxas smiled sheepishly up at him. “No problem.”

 

.o.O.o.

Lexaeus stared as Demyx marched over to him, not believing what he was seeing. 

“You shouldn’t be here,” he warned.

Demyx ignored his warning. “Where’s Zexion?”

“You need to leave,” Lexaeus said firmly.

“I’m not leaving until I see Zexion.”

Lexaeus stared at Demyx. Something had changed in him, though at first he wasn’t sure what. Then, he realized that Demyx wasn’t afraid. Instead of cowering and cringing in fear like he used to in Lexaeus’s presence, he stared calmly and fearlessly at him. When had he grown so confident?

“You need to leave,” Lexaeus insisted. “Zexion doesn’t want to see you.”

“That’s bullshit and you know it,” Demyx said. His expression softened. “I know that Zexion only broke up with me because Sephiroth threatened to kill me. Marluxia told me everything. All I want to do is apologize to Zexion.” Lexaeus looked at him in surprise. His eyes filled with ears. “I need to apologize because I put him in danger. I don’t want him to suffer like Tristan suffered. I’d never be able to forgive myself for that.” His voice broke.

Lexaeus understood then. Marluxia had told him about _that_. He hadn’t really pulled any punches with Demyx and Roxas. He stared at Demyx’s teary face and felt his resistance crumbling.

“You need to leave. Now,” he said. He glanced around to make sure there was no one within earshot, leaned down, and whispered, “Meet me outside the Landmark Hotel in ten minutes. Tell no one where you are going. Make sure you are not followed.” Demyx nodded.

“Fine. I see how it is,” he said loudly.

He spun around and stormed off. Lexaeus stared after him and then smiled. Demyx was much more perceptive than everyone thought. Perhaps things between him and Zexion could work out after all.

 

.o.O.o.

Demyx stood waiting outside the Landmark Hotel when Lexaeus arrived ten minutes later. They made their way up to the room Lexaeus and Zexion shared in silence and Lexaeus opened the door with his key. The lights were all off and the curtains were drawn over the windows, shrouding the room in darkness. Immediately, he could sense something was wrong and the hairs on the back of his neck stood up.

 “Zexion?” Demyx called out, moving into the dark room. “Zexion, are you here?” There was no response. “Weird.” He turned back to Lexaeus. “Maybe he went out somewhere?”

Lexaeus shook his head. “I doubt it.”

He stepped forward and turned on the lights. A harsh gasp from Demyx caused him to turn and then stop moving completely. Zexion lay facedown on the floor between the two beds. His shock only lasted a few seconds; he quickly stepped forward, brushing past Demyx, who stood motionless at the end of the bed, and kneeled down. As gently as he could, he turned Zexion onto his back. He was deathly pale and barely breathing, an empty bottle of whisky clutched in his left hand. Lexaeus placed two fingers to Zexion’s pale neck and waited with bated breath. Finally, he felt a weak pulse and exhaled softly. He looked up at Demyx, who stared wide-eyed at Zexion.

“Call 9-1-1!” he said sharply. “Tell them to send an ambulance.”

Demyx seemed to snap out of his stupor and pulled out his cell phone, dialing with shaking fingers.

“Hi I…I need an ambulance. It’s my friend. He’s passed out and barely breathing,” he said in a trembling voice. He paused and put his hand over the mouthpiece, looking confused. “They want to know if he’s taken anything.”

“Xanax,” Lexaeus said. He added for Demyx’s benefit, “It’s an antianxiety medication. He also drank a bottle of whiskey. It’s a miracle he’s still breathing on his own.”

Demyx relayed this to the operator and then turned back to Lexaeus, covering the mouthpiece once more.

“They say to make sure he keeps breathing. Turn him on his side in case he vomits so his airway doesn’t get blocked,” he said.

Lexaeus nodded and gently rolled Zexion onto his side. Demyx continued to talk to the operator in a shaking voice. Lexaeus swore loudly when he realized that Zexion had stopped breathing. He rolled Zexion onto his back and started rescue breathing.

“Come on,” he muttered in between breaths. “Come on!”

There was a loud knock on the door. Lexaeus glanced up at Demyx. He stood absolutely still, clutching his phone to his ear, his face deathly pale, and his eyes wide with shock.

“Answer it!” Lexaeus barked between breaths.

Demyx jumped, startled out of his stupor. He ran to the door and opened it.

“Oh thank god,” he breathed, bordering on hysteria. “He’s not breathing!”

Lexaeus looked up again as a pair of paramedics kneeled down beside him.

“How long has he been down?” one of them asked.

“Two minutes,” Lexaeus said between breaths. “I started rescue breathing and have been checking his pulse. It’s been week and erratic, but it’s still there.”

The paramedics shared a look. Without being told, Lexaeus moved out of the way so the paramedics could work. He stood next to Demyx, who had gone back to standing and staring silently. Demyx shuddered when the paramedics forced a tube down Zexion’s throat connected to a bag that one of them started squeezing. Lexaeus put a reassuring hand on his shoulder. Zexion was loaded onto the backboard and taken from the room. Lexaeus automatically followed, but stopped when he realized that Demyx was still standing in the hotel room, staring blankly at the spot where Zexion had been laying.

“Come on,” he said softly. “I’m sure they’ll let us ride with him to the hospital in the ambulance.”

Demyx still made no move to follow him, so Lexaeus took him by the hand, forcing him to. They caught up with the paramedics at the bottom of the stairs and after a brief, tense conversation, Demyx and Lexaeus were allowed to ride in the ambulance with them. Lexaeus distracted himself with answering the paramedic’s questions to the best of his ability while Demyx continued to stare blankly at Zexion.

The ride to the hospital was short. When they arrived, Zexion was rushed inside and Lexaeus and Demyx were forced into the empty waiting room.

As soon as Demyx sat in one of the uncomfortable plastic chairs, he burst into tears. He put his face in his hands and sobbed for a good ten minutes. Lexaeus waited patiently and then handed him a tissue when he finally looked up.

“Thanks,” Demyx said weakly, mopping his eyes.

He looked around. Lexaeus reached for the Kleenex box on the table beside him and plopped it in Demyx’s lap. Demyx chuckled weakly and muttered a thank you before using several more tissues.

They sat in silence for what seemed like an eternity. Finally, a brown-haired woman dressed in pale green scrubs carrying a clipboard entered the room and walked over to them.

“You’re Zexion’s friends, right?” she asked.

“Yes,” Lexaeus said. “I’m Lexaeus. Zexion and I work together at the circus and he’s my roommate and close friend. And that’s Demyx. He’s…” Lexaeus hesitated, unsure of how to explain Demyx’s presence in a polite way.

“I’m a friend,” Demyx said softly.

“I’m Dr. Lucrecia Crescent,” the woman said. “I’ve been taking care of Zexion.”

“Is he…?” Lexaeus asked the single most important question as well as the one he and Demyx both dreaded to know.

“He’s unconscious, but stable,” Dr. Crescent said soothingly. “It was a very close call, though. I have some questions I need to ask you, if that’s all right.” Lexaeus nodded. Dr. Crescent sat in the chair next to him and looked him directly in the eye. “I understand he overdosed on a combination of antianxiety medication and alcohol?”

“Yes,” Lexaeus said. “He’s been on the Xanax for about a year.”

“Has it been prescribed by a doctor?” Dr. Crescent asked.

“Yes,” Lexaeus said. “We have a physician who travels with us and he takes care of that.”

“Have you noticed changes in Zexion’s behavior lately?” Dr. Crescent asked, taking notes on her clipboard. “Has he become more withdrawn? Has his appetite changed? Has he thought about or attempted or attempted suicide to your knowledge?”

“I know he didn’t try and kill himself today,” Lexaeus said firmly.

Dr. Crescent looked at him, surprised. “Are you sure about that?”

“Yes.” Lexaeus nodded. “He attempted suicide a little over a year ago and since then, our physician Vexen and I have been keeping an extremely close eye on him. As I said, we’re roommates and we also have an act together. We spend pretty much our entire time in each other’s company.”

“You said he attempted suicide?” Dr. Crescent asked.

“Yes,” Lexaeus said. “A little over a year ago. We were in his hometown and he went to see his foster family. Things got...ugly between them. I found him bleeding out in the men’s room. I took him to Vexen, who patched him up. Then, the three of us had a very long talk about it. Zexion swore to both of us he would never try to kill himself again, but Vexen and I agreed to keep a close eye on him to make sure he kept his promise.”

“I see,” Dr. Crescent murmured.

“I’ve kept a close eye on his prescription and made sure he’s not taking more than he should,” Lexaeus continued. “I know for a fact he didn’t take more pills than he should have.”

“He still could have overdosed on purpose,” Dr. Crescent said. “He would have known about the interaction between the Xanax and alcohol and that they can’t be taken together because both of them are depressants and can lead to unconsciousness, coma, and death, much like what happened today.”

“I trust Zexion,” Lexaeus said.

“In any case, I’m recommending he be evaluated by someone from the psychiatric department once he wakes up,” Dr. Crescent said. “I’ve arranged for one of our counselors to speak to him.”

“Whatever you think is necessary,” Lexaeus said, though he thought it was unnecessary.

“Now, you said he has a foster family?” Dr. Crescent asked.

“Yes, but I think Zexion would rather keep his foster father out of this,” Lexaeus said stiffly.

“Very well,” Dr. Crescent said and she dropped the subject.

“Can we see him?” Demyx suddenly asked, drawing a glance from both Dr. Crescent and Lexaeus.

“Yes, of course,” Dr. Crescent said. “Come with me.”

Lexaeus and Demyx rose from their chairs and followed Dr. Crescent out, Demyx abandoning the Kleenex box on a table near the door. All the hallways looked the same; typical hospital hallways with whitewashed walls, worn tile floors, bright fluorescent lights, and a smell of antiseptic hanging in the air. They took an elevator to the fourth floor and journeyed down more identical, typical looking hospital corridors. They passed nurse’s stations and patient rooms. Finally, Dr. Crescent stopped in front of one of that patient rooms whose door was partially open.

“He’s in here,” she said at a whisper.

“Thank you,” Lexaeus said.

He led the way into the room. The room had two beds, the one closest to the door unoccupied. In the bed closest to the window lay Zexion. Lexaeus walked over with Demyx behind him.

Zexion’s skin was nearly translucent underneath the fluorescent lights and his body was almost completely still, save for the gentle rise and fall of his chest as he breathed. Oxygen tubes ran into his nose and an IV ran into the crook of his arm. His lips were pressed together into a faint frown as he slept.

As soon as Demyx saw Zexion, he burst into tears for the second time that day. Lexaeus’s immediate response was to look for a box of Kleenex and upon finding one, handed it to Demyx.

“Thanks,” Demyx said, laughing weakly.

He took a few minutes to mop his eyes and pull himself together before slowly approaching the bed.

“I’m here.” He took Zexion’s hand and squeezed it gently. “I’m here and I’m not going anywhere, I promise. I love you.”

His voice broke and tears streamed down his face. Zexion slept on obliviously while Demyx sat in the chair next to his bed and Lexaeus stood over them, watching impassively with his arms crossed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author’s Notes  
> Well that chapter got done faster than I thought. It also turned out way longer than I thought. Just a quick note, the next chapter will be the last full-length chapter. After that, there will be a brief epilogue to tie things up.  
> Soundtrack: For the scene between Marluxia, Roxas, and Demyx in the kitchen, I listened to “Musique Pour La Tristesse de Xion”, the 1.5 Remix version. It’s technically Xion’s theme from 358/2 Days, but it’s a hauntingly beautiful song, especially the remixed version. Like I mentioned last time, it as well as “Roxas Theme” by Drammatica seem to be my go-to for songs when I’m writing a sad scene.  
> References: The titular characters from Tristan und Isolde appear, though their fates here are different than their counterparts in the Wagner opera. I needed some tragic characters and I didn’t want to use Romeo and Juliet, so these two were the first ones I thought of. There’s also a reference to the movie The Sixth Sense which I never saw until about a year or two ago because I can’t watch scary movies; they give me nightmares. Finally, a reference to Final Fantasy VII/Dirge of Cerberus.


	7. The Twenty-First Day

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: Due to the graphic nature of this chapter, reader discretion is advised. This chapter will contain graphic violence, rape, strong language, and self-harm.

The Twenty-First Day

Zexion returned to consciousness slowly. His vision went from pitch black to grey and then slowly sharpened. He saw a room with whitewashed walls and a smell of antiseptic hanging in the air and knew he was in a hospital, though his mind was too foggy to process much besides that. He tilted his head to the side and saw Lexaeus sitting in a chair by his bed.

“You’re awake,” Lexaeus stated.

“I’m alive. Thank god,” Zexion said hoarsely. His throat was sandpapery and his tongue felt like it was made from cotton.

“Yes,” Lexaeus said.

“I didn’t mean to do it,” Zexion said. “I swear.”

“I know,” Lexaeus said gently. “I know you wouldn’t break your promise.”

Zexion was overwhelmed by those simple words. I know you wouldn’t break your promise. I trust you. He let out a dry sob at the back of his throat at Lexaeus, kind, gentle Lexaeus who had faith in him, who had always had faith in him.

“Thank you,” he whispered.

“Thank him,” Lexaeus said, nodding at the bed.

Confused, Zexion looked down and saw Demyx curled up beside him, fast asleep. His breath hitched.

“What…how…” he faltered.

 “Marluxia told him the truth,” Lexaeus said, gazing down at the sleeping boy.

“Marluxia?” Zexion frowned.

“I tried to force him to leave when he came to the Disney Circus, but he refused. He wanted to apologize because he felt like it was his fault this happened,” Lexaeus continued. “Marluxia told him about Tristan and Isolde.” At this, Zexion winced, the memory of that incident still raw in his mind. “Against my better judgement, I agreed to let him see you. We found you passed out on the floor of the hotel room and called for help. When we were in the waiting room, he broke down and cried. When he saw you the first time here, he broke down and cried again. He refused to leave your side and fell asleep the way he is now. I couldn’t bear to drive him away. He loves you and I couldn’t destroy that.”

“How is it going to work?” Zexion asked. “Sephiroth will kill him. He could possibly join the circus, if Sephiroth will even let him, but I can’t ask him to do that. And Sephiroth will never let me leave. You and I both know that you don’t leave the Disney Circus, especially not for love.” He gazed down at Demyx and gently stroked the blonde hair. “However, he is very precious to me. I’ve never felt this way about anyone before and I don’t know what to do. I feel so lost.”

Just then, Demyx stirred. He slowly sat up and, rubbing his eyes, looked around the room. He gasped softly when he saw Zexion.

“You’re awake. Thank god,” he said. Tears filled his eyes. “I’m so sorry. It’s all my fault. Your life was put in danger because of me. I feel awful about it and…”

Zexion stopped his babbling by leaning over and kissing him hard on the lips. When he pulled away, Demyx’s eyes were wide with shock.

“I love you, Demyx,” Zexion whispered, tears streaming down his face. “I’ve never loved anyone the way I love you. You are the best thing that has happened to me. I am so sorry. I didn’t mean to hurt you.”

“I know,” Demyx said. “I know. I know you only did it because Sephiroth threatened to kill me. It’s okay. I forgive you.” He pulled Zexion into a hug, being careful to not disturb the IV in Zexion’s arm. They only pulled away when Demyx’s phone rang loudly.

“Sorry,” Demyx muttered. He looked at the screen and his face paled. “Shit. It’s my mom. I’ve gotta take this. Excuse me.”

He got up and hurried out of the room while saying into the phone, “Hi mom.”

“Lexaeus,” Zexion said softly. Lexaeus looked at him. “Go with him, okay? Keep an eye on him. Please.”

“What about you?” Lexaeus asked with a frown.

“I’m not the one they’re going to be after,” Zexion said grimly.

“All right.” Lexaeus nodded.

He hurried out of the room. He returned a while later looking extremely grim. Zexion knew, from the look on his face, even before he said anything.

“No,” he whimpered. “Please.”

“I’m sorry,” Lexaeus said. “I wasn’t able to get to him in time. They must have been waiting for him.”

He handed Zexion Demyx’s bloodstained phone.

Zexion closed his eyes, fingers curling around the bloody phone, and let out a low moan.

“I’m sorry,” Lexaeus said again.

Zexion was silent for a long time, breathing heavily. He jumped when the phone vibrated and nearly dropped it. He stared at the text that had appeared, his heart beating wildly in his chest.

_We have your boyfriend. Come to 1509 Maplewood Rd in an hour or we will video us raping him and show it to everyone! Come alone or he dies._

“What’s wrong?” Lexaeus asked softly, seeing the expression on Zexion’s face.

Zexion showed him the text. For a long time, he was silent. Then, he abruptly stood and said, “I need to make some phone calls.”

As soon as Lexaeus was gone, Zexion made up his mind. He had to go that address. He had to try and save Demyx. He didn’t know how successful he would be; Sephiroth’s boys were extremely dangerous and Zexion wasn’t sure how much of a chance he stood against them. He had to try, though. He couldn’t stand by and do nothing. Even if he ended up dying and even if Demyx ended up dying, at least he’d know he did everything he could to try and save him.

Zexion rose from the bed on shaky legs and removed the oxygen tubes from his nose. He winced as he pulled the IV from his arm. He found a bit of gauze to stop the bleeding and then spotted a fresh set of clothes sitting in a neatly folded pile on the end of his bed. Instinctively, he knew that Lexaeus had left the clothes for him. And sitting on top of the pile of clothes was a knife. Zexion’s lips curled up into a small smile: Lexaeus’s message was clear.

He dressed in the clothes Lexaeus had picked out; a black turtleneck, jeans, and sneakers. He slipped the knife up his sleeve, pleased to find there was a sheath there to hold it, and put Demyx’s phone in his pocket. Then, taking a deep breath, he waited until it was clear and then walked out.

It was surprisingly easy for him to sneak out of the hospital; the security cameras were minimal and everyone was too busy to pay any attention to him. He stopped outside and looked around. He was in unfamiliar territory. He hadn’t bothered to look around Traverse Town—what was the point? They were just going to leave again anyway. Now he sort of wished he had explored Traverse Town at least a little. Still, there wasn’t any reason to panic. Though members of the Disney Circus didn’t typically carry cell phones on them, Zexion included, he had enough sense to know how to operate a smart phone. Within minutes, he had found his destination using the phone’s maps and began walking. He only made it a few steps before he heard a voice in his ear.

“We’ve been waiting for you.”

Then, someone hit him in the back of the head with something hard and he crumpled to the ground, his vision going black.

He woke in a cold, windowless room with floors and walls made out of concrete. He sat in an uncomfortable wooden chair with his arms bound behind him with rope.

“You’re finally awake.”

Zexion looked up at the voice and saw Kadaj leering at him with Loz and Yazoo hovering behind him. And between them, being held up by them was…

“Demyx!” Zexion gasped.

Demyx was limp in Loz and Yazoo’s arms, his head lolling to the side. Blood trickled down his face from a cut on his forehead and his skin was extremely pale. But Zexion could see that he was still breathing, albeit a bit shallowly.

Loz and Yazoo dumped him on the floor and Kadaj roughly kicked him in the ribs.

“Wake up!” he said in a singsong voice.

A few moments passed and then Demyx stirred feebly.

“Huh?” he said, lifting his head and looking around. “Where am I?” He saw Zexion tied to the chair and gasped. “Are you okay?!”

“I’m fine,” Zexion said.

 _You should be the one who is worried,_ he added silently.

“Well, now that you’re both here, shall we get on with the fun?” Kadaj leered.

Horrified, Zexion could only watch as Kadaj straddled Demyx from behind. Demyx seemed to know what Kadaj was about to do because he started struggling.

“No please! Don’t do this! Please!” Demyx cried out as Kadaj stripped off his pants.

“Quiet!” Kadaj snarled, striking Demyx across the face.

Demyx fell silent but only for a few moments. He screamed as Kadaj roughly penetrated him. Zexion felt sick to his stomach as the memories of his own rape came back to him, memories he had tried so hard to suppress.

_Xehanort’s breath was warm against his throat. He backed away and found himself trapped against the lab table._

_“Don’t be like that, Ienzo. You know you want it,” Xehanort whispered teasingly._

_“N…no,” he stammered. “Stop it. Please stop!”_

_“Be quiet,” Xehanort ordered._

_He slapped Ienzo hard across the face and he whimpered in pain. Xehanort trapped him underneath him and began removing his clothes. He closed his eyes, tears burning at the corners of his eyes, waiting for it to be over with._

_But Xehanort didn’t touch him like he normally did._

_Instead, he forced Ienzo onto the table and spread his legs apart._

_“What are you….?” The rest of his words were lost in a scream as Xehanort roughly penetrated him._

_The tears burning at his eyes rolled down his face as Xehanort thrust into him again and again, slowly finding a rhythm. He bit back a moan. It wasn’t supposed to feel good. His body was betraying him!_

_“See?” Xehanort hissed in his ears as he came. “I knew you wanted it.”_

Zexion was snapped out of his memories by a slap to the face.

“You _will_ watch this,” Kadaj hissed at him; he was done raping Demyx and now Loz was having a turn. “You will see the price that is paid for disobeying Father.”

“Stop it!” Zexion screamed as Demyx’s shrieks of pain grew louder. “Please stop! Leave him alone! I’m begging you! I’ll Do anything you like, just stop hurting him!”

“Well,” Kadaj said, turning to leer at him. “I never thought I’d live to see day the great and mighty Zexion begged like a dog.” He grinned wickedly at Zexion and then turned around. “Loz, that’s enough. Let Yazoo have a turn.”

Loz glared up at him. “I’m not done yet.”

“Well hurry up,” Kadaj snapped.

“I want to enjoy it,” Loz grumbled. “It’s been a long time since I’ve had a nice piece of ass.”

“Make sure you save some of that ass for me,” Yazoo said.

“He’ll be fine for a while longer. Right?” Loz said. Demyx responded with a muffled sob.

“Don’t worry,” Kadaj said, watching his brother rape Demyx without even bothering to hide his glee. “We can all have more than one turn with him. We can use him until he breaks. And then we have Zexion to play with too.”

Something inside Zexion snapped.

“Damn you Kadaj!” he screamed, fighting against his bonds. 

Kadaj laughed at him and then turned back around to watch as Loz finished with Demyx and Yazoo immediately swooped in to take his turn. Zexion burned with rage. It was at that moment that he remembered the knife up his sleeve.

 _Please, let it still be there,_ he thought.

He managed to twist his wrists around and slip his hand up his sleeve enough to reach the sheath. He breathed a soft sigh of relief when he felt the knife still safely nestled there. He silently thanked his lucky stars that he was extremely flexible as well, otherwise this would have been next to impossible. He somehow managed to slide the knife out and start sawing through his ropes. The knife wasn’t large so freeing himself took a couple minutes, but finally the ropes snapped. Kadaj, too absorbed in watching Yazoo raping Demyx, didn’t notice until it was too late.

Zexion launched himself forward with a scream and slammed the knife into Kadaj’s eye without even the slightest hesitation. Kadaj stumbled back, holding his injured eye, blood dripping down his face, screaming. Zexion pulled the knife out and while Kadaj was still reeling from his attack, stabbed jo, om the heart. Kadaj dropped to the ground, choking as blood pooled around him and then he was still.

There was a moment of absolute silence that followed Kadaj’s death and then with a howl of rage, Loz charged at Zexion. Zexion was barely able to dodge out of the way; Loz was at least three times Zexion’s size, but Zexion was faster. He spun around and charged Loz, slamming into him, hoping to catch him off guard. It was like running into a brick wall. Zexion gasped as the wind was knocked from him, but charged again. They fought hand to hand, struggling for control of the knife. Loz was a formidable opponent, but Zexion was full of rage. He allowed it to possess him and forgot everything except killing Loz.

Finally, somehow, he managed to get enough control of the knife to stab Loz in the gut. The bigger man staggered backward, holding his wound. Zexion knew that one stab wasn’t enough to fell the beast and was ready when Loz charged at him again. He easily dodged and stabbed him again. Not enough. He stabbed Loz again and again and again until the older man toppled. Zexion finally stopped moving, breathing heavily, and looked down at Loz slowly dying.

He didn’t see the knife until it was too late.

With a feral grin, Yazoo stabbed Demyx in the chest. Zexion let out a feral scream and charged him. Yazoo didn’t have time to react before Zexion stabbed him in the heart. He dropped to the floor with a scream, gasping and choking as his life left him. Zexion barely paid any attention to him. He dropped the knife on the floor and ran over to Demyx’s side.

“Demyx! Demyx!” he cried.

There was blood, so much blood. Weakly, Demyx opened his eyes.

“Hey,” he said, blood coating his lips.

“Stay with me Demyx,” Zexion whispered, cupping his pale cheek. “Please. I can’t lose you now.”

Demyx chuckled softly. “S…sorry.” He coughed up blood. “Y…you’ll be okay.”

Then, he closed his eyes.

Zexion rocked back on his heels and wailed. He collapsed forward in on himself and sobbed until there were no more tears left. Then, he straightened up, breathing heavily, mind made up. He didn’t want to be in this world any longer if Demyx wasn’t going to be there. He reached into his pocket and pulled out a small bottle that he had carried with him for years without anyone ever knowing, not even Lexaeus. It was a way for him to leave this world. It would be slow and painful, but it was what he deserved. He had caused nothing but pain to Demyx especially in his final moments and he could make things right by dying as painfully as possible.

He contemplated the vial and remembered something he had told Demyx when they first met.

  _"I don't believe in love at first sight. Just like I don't believe there's anything romantic about Romeo and Juliet committing suicide to be together."_

He laughed bitterly. He had been proven wrong on both counts. Okay, so Demyx didn’t commit suicide, but it was close enough. He could finally understand Romeo’s thoughts and actions now. He had been so bitter and cynical that he hadn’t been able to comprehend what it was like to be young and in love. And then Demyx had come along. He had turned Zexion’s entire world upside down and Zexion had fallen in love with him. It had happened so fast, but sometimes it was like that. Love was confusing and complicated and it didn’t make sense. And that was okay. Now Demyx was gone and Zexion couldn’t imagine living the rest of his life without him, just how Romeo must have felt when he thought Juliet was taken from him. He finally, finally understood.

He dug his fingernails into the stopper and pulled it out. He held up the vial to his lips.

“Here’s to my love,” he murmured and then he swallowed the vial’s contents in one gulp.

 

.o.O.o.

The first thing Marluxia was aware of when he entered the room was the stench of blood. It filled his nostrils until he thought he was going to gag. As he stepped farther in, he could see it thickly coating the floors and even the walls.

“Jesus Christ,” he breathed as he looked around.

Kadaj, Loz, and Yazoo all lay on the ground in pools of blood. Dead. And in the corner…

A horrified cry escaped Marluxia’s lips as he saw two familiar figures laying in the corner. He ran over to them, slipping in the blood. Demyx lay on his back in another pool of blood with eyes closed, a knife sticking out of his ribs Marluxia turned and yelled over his shoulder, “Vexen! Vexen!”

Vexen came running from outside, followed by Axel, Roxas, Ven, Sora, and Riku.

“What? What is it?” Vexen asked urgently. He saw Demyx. “Good Lord!”

He kneeled down amid the blood, ignoring the screams of horror from Demyx’s brothers, and examined him.

“He’s alive,” he said in an undertone. “Call an ambulance! Now!”

Axel, who had been staring blankly at the scene seemed to snap out of his stupor and nodded. He hurried out of the room to get a cell phone signal to call for help. Riku followed, dragging a hysterical Sora out with him. Neither Roxas nor Ven cried; they just stared at their brother with blank faces.

“Don’t just stand there!” Vexen snapped at them. “Give me a hand!”

Ven and Roxas kneeled down and began following Vexen’s instructions. Marluxia turned away from the scene, to the other figure laying near Demyx’s body.

Zexion was barely awake, covered in blood.

“Where are you hurt?” Marluxia asked. Zexion didn’t respond. “Is that your blood?” Zexion still didn’t respond. Marluxia spotted an empty vial clutched in his hand. “Did you take something?” he guessed. “What did you take?” Zexion continued to stare blankly at him. “Come on Zexion. How am I supposed to help you if you won’t tell me what you took?” A thought occurred to him. “You’re trying to kill yourself aren’t you? Dammit Zexion you promised you wouldn’t! Please don’t do this!”

“It’s too late,” Zexion whispered, his lips curling up into a bitter smile. “Demyx is dead and I’m going to follow him. I don’t want to live anymore. I can’t live without him.”

“For God’s sake, Zexion, he’s not dead!” Marluxia cried.

Zexion’s one visible eye widened. “W…what?”

“He’s going to be okay,” Marluxia said, silently praying that he was right and that Demyx survived. “You can ask Vexen! He’s a doctor after all.”

“He’s right,” Vexen said, not looking up from where he was tending to Demyx’s wounds. “He’s been hurt badly, but somehow the knife has managed to avoid his major organs. He’ll need medical attention soon, but it’s not life-threatening.”

“Oh god,” Zexion whispered, closing his eyes. “What have I done?”

“Tell me what you took and we can set things right,” Marluxia persisted.

“Strychnine,” Zexion said. “It was strychnine.”

“Vexen?” Marluxia asked, knowing the doctor was listening.

Vexen finally looked up from his work on Demyx. “How long ago did he take it?”

“About ten minutes ago,” Zexion whispered.

“Then the symptoms should be starting soon,” Vexen said. “How much did you take?”

“Enough,” Zexion whispered.

“There isn’t much we can do,” Vexen said. “He’s going to start having convulsions soon. Depending on how much he took, they could become extremely violent. Just try and keep him comfortable until the ambulance arrives.”

“All right,” Marluxia said.

He was not prepared when the convulsions started.

They started in Zexion’s legs and arms and then spread to the rest of his body, becoming more and more violent as time passed. Then, he began screaming, horrible, agonized screams. Zexion had always been so calm and composed, never showing even the slightest bit of emotion, but that calm exterior was gone now. Marluxia wished there was something, anything he could do, but all he could do was sit there and watch. Then, he was aware of a presence by his side. He turned as Ven kneeled down beside him. He was amazed as Ven calmly reached out and took Zexion’s hand, covering it with both of his.

“I’m here Zexion,” he said softly, giving the hand a gentle squeeze. “It’s going to be okay. Just hang on, okay?”

Zexion managed to nod. Marluxia would never forget the agonized, terrified look on his face as he convulsed on that bloodstained floor.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author’s Notes  
> Well, this got done a lot sooner than I first anticipated. I didn’t think it was going to be finished until the middle of January, but something possessed me to sit down and finish the chapter today. Also, I apologize for the long wait. Life, you know? Also a lack of motivation on my bit. I am willing to take some of the blame for the long ass delay. There will be one more chapter which actually won’t be a chapter but an epilogue and everything will be explained then, including how Marluxia and the others found them and what happened to everyone. And I swear it won’t take over three months for it to be finished.  
> Soundtrack: For the rape scene, I listened to “Aftermath” from Cirque du Soleil’s KA. I also listened to “Rage Awakened: The Origin” from the Kingdom Hearts Birth By Sleep OST for the fight scene. It was fitting, especially considering Zexion’s own rage was awakened at that point. And finally, I listened to Musique Pour la Tristesse de Xion for the scene where Zexion believes Demyx dies and he attempts to poison himself. Because sad scene. Sad song.  
> References: The bloodstained phone is a sort of reference to Final Fantasy VII Advent Children when Kadaj throws the blood stained ID cards of Tseng and Elena at Rufus. Also Romeo and Juliet is obviously referenced and Zexion goes as far to reference Romeo when he poisons himself.  
> Strychnine: strychnine is a nasty poison. As mentioned in the chapter, the convulsions start in the legs and also in the arms. The first symptoms are a stiff neck and face but since that bit was from Marluxia’s POV it was hard to mention that. Also, the victim is awake during these convulsions unlike with other seizures. The victim dies from asphyxiation or from sheer exhaustion which in my opinion is a terrible way to die. But I felt like it was fitting for Zexion to want to die this way because he feels guilty and wants to die painfully to make up for his (imagined) sins.


	8. Epilogue

Epilogue 

“Where were you?” Marluxia didn’t even look up from the book he was reading as the door to Zexion’s hospital room opened.

“I had some business to attend to,” Lexaeus said softly. ~~~~

“I trust that business went smoothly?” Marluxia asked.

“Yes,” Lexaeus answered. He nodded at Zexion. “How is he?”

“He’ll survive,” Marluxia said. “It was a close call, though. They had to put him in complete paralysis because the convulsions from the strychnine were so bad. He’ll have to be on a respirator for a while, until his body has a chance to recover.”

“And Demyx?”

“He’s stable, though he took quite a beating from Kadaj, Loz, and Yazoo. They also say he was raped multiple times. It’s going to be a long road to recovery for both of them.” Marluxia turned the page, though he wasn’t really reading right now.

“Don’t blame yourself.”

“Like hell I won’t.” Marluxia glanced up angrily at Lexaeus. “It’s my fault! If I hadn’t gotten Demyx involved, none of this would have happened! The only reason they survived was because _you_ put a GPS tracker in Zexion’s clothes and we got to them in time.”

“You did what you thought was best.” There was a long silence. “Will you do me a favor?”

Marluxia looked at him, surprised that he was asking for a favor, but Lexaeus’s face betrayed no emotion as he said, “Will you give this letter to him when he wakes up?”

“All right,” Marluxia agreed.

He didn’t even bother asking what was in the letter; he knew he wouldn’t get a response out of Lexaeus.

“Thank you.”

Then, Lexaeus turned and was gone.

 

.o.O.o.

Despite everything that happened to them, Demyx and Zexion both survived. Their road to recovery was long and difficult and neither of them were really the same. Demyx finished high school and went to college, eventually becoming an elementary school music teacher. Zexion left the Disney Circus, got his GED, and went onto become a Literature professor at Hollow Bastion University, specializing in Shakespeare. He eventually reconciled with his foster father Ansem and remained in close contact with him the rest of his life. He and Demyx settled down together and lived quiet, peaceful lives.

Not long after Zexion and Demyx were rescued, Sephiroth’s body was found in his office. He had been shot in the head. After visiting Zexion in the hospital, Lexaeus turned himself into the police and confessed to Sephiroth’s murder. He was sentenced to life in prison and died there nine months later.

The police investigated the deaths of Kadaj, Loz, and Yazoo, but ultimately decided that Zexion acted in self defense and did not charge him for their deaths.

The Disney Circus continued on under the guidance of Marluxia, who relaxed all the rules and regulations Sephiroth had set into place and didn’t force anyone to stay longer than they wanted. A surprising number of people stayed anyway.

Axel was one of those who remained with the Disney Circus. He was joined by Roxas after his graduation from high school. Roxas did administrative work for the Disney Circus and enjoyed a tumultuous relationship with Axel.

Ven went on to become an EMT, surprising everyone except Marluxia, who knew the kid was going to be a great EMT. There was never anyone special in his life, but he didn’t seem to ever mind.

Sora went to school for graphic design and made a living designing websites for companies, enjoying a great success, and a loving relationship with Riku.

And Riku defied everyone’s expectations like Ven and opened a bakery. Kingdom Hearts Bakery was an enormous success and he and Sora lived happy lives together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author’s Notes   
> There, it’s done. Finally. After almost a year. There isn’t much else I want to say except thank you to all those who reviewed. I really appreciate it.

**Author's Note:**

> Inspiration: the original inspiration for this came from me watching Dumbo. My muses were like, “ooh you should write a Kingdom Hearts fanfiction revolving around the circus!” and then I watched Moulin Rouge! by Baz Luhrmann and things just sort of snowballed from there. Inspiration also came from Cirque du Soleil which I ended up doing research on and modeled the Disney Circus after. I originally intended for Axel to be the master of ceremonies, but then I went to see Cirque du Soleil’s O in Las Vegas with my parents while there on vacation and when I saw the fire act, that was that. Axel had to be the fire act instead. Zexion and Lexaeus were also originally a knife act but then I listened to “Gamelan” from O and the muses went to town on that and so I changed it to a dance act instead. 
> 
> Soundtrack: This is a list of the songs that I chose for the Disney Circus show in order, all from the various Cirque du Soleil shows (with the show it’s from in parentheses): “Buster’s Big Opening” (Iris), “Mirko” (Alegría), “Cold Flame” (Delirium), “Jeux D’enfants (Alegría), “Volo Volando” for the trapeze act (Corteo), “Propel” (La Nouba), “La Nouba” (La Nouba), “Distorted” (La Nouba), “High Bar” (Mystère), “Fanfare” (Nouvelle Experience), Liama (La Nouba), “Birth” (Journey of Man), “Imposteur” (Kooza), “Coelestis” (Zaia), “Terre Aride” for Axel’s fire act (O), “Gamelan” for Zexion and Lexaeus’s dance act (O), “Tzelma” (O), “Flight” (Kà), “Reveil” (Journey of Man), “Taruka” (O), “O” (O). I also listened to “Alegría” from the show Alegría obviously during the scene where Demyx and Zexion met, which is the song I chose to be their theme. 
> 
> References: To Final Fantasy VII, Crisis Core Final Fantasy VII as well as Advent Children, Cinderella, Sleeping Beauty, and Mulan. Did you find them? There will probably be loads more references later as the story progresses so keep your eyes peeled!


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